Snowfall's posts

I was such a jerk back then. So full of hurt and misunderstanding and frustration. I wish I would've handled it better, but I didn't know how. That's no excuse.

I miss you. I wish you were still my friend. Wish we could still talk crap about all the things we used to.

I hope you're doing okay. That you're a better person now. I don't know if I could ever love you the same way, but I do love you.

This is addressed to four people. And I hope that all three of you know who you are, if you're reading this.

We just talked today and you told me some things that angered me. I was so upset for you. So upset that I left you alone with these people. For that, I am sorry. I know that you've already tried to convince me that it wasn't my fault, but in the end, I knew you wouldn't leave no matter how hurt you were by these people. I knew you were too good of a person to let this place hang without you. You know how important you are, so don't let them think you aren't. You are a kind, gentle, and passionate person, and I'm so glad that this place has someone like you. Please, never stop shining so brightly in the face of all this darkness.

To who this passage is for, however... we haven't talked in months. And since I left this place, it's been easier to breathe since. I can't say that I miss you right now, but I can say that I have missed you. And perhaps I will always miss you. Maybe that makes you happy in your twisted soul, I'm not sure. Maybe it makes you angry that I even think about you. Either way, it's the way I feel and, contrary to what you believe, I know I'm validated in those feelings. I'm so sorry that you hurt so much. And I'm so sorry that I was one small experience in your life that caused you pain as well. But this isn't right. You can be better than this. You are so talented and you are so passionate. Stop. Get help. You deserve to be a better person. You deserve to make the world a better place rather than bring it down. I don't know all of what you go through, but you can do better. Please, be better.

And to the last two people this is addressed. What the hell are you even doing? Why do you hate so many people? Why do you take your passion and creativity and turn it on others as if it's something to bring them down? All three of you make such a wonderful, powerful team. Don't waste that talent and hard work on thinking you're better than everyone else. There is nothing beautiful in the disasters you create. Take that time, that commitment, and make it into something beautiful. I don't know what you two have been through either, but this isn't right. The things you do and say, it's horrible. It's wrong. I don't care what you're thinking right now, if I'm crossing a line in anything I say, because you have crossed them all. Right now, you three are horrible, spiteful, and narcissistic people I am all too ashamed to have ever admired. I'm sorry for the way you feel, the hurt in yourselves, but don't bring that onto other people. Be better. All three of you.

I don't know if I ever had passion for this place, but if I had, I think all three of you have sucked it out of me. And if you can do that to me, who knows who else has felt that way? I'm not saying this because I think I'm better than any of you. I think I have a lot of work to do and a lot of self reflection left before I become any better. But I know for certain that I would never intentionally harm another person. We all make mistakes, myself very much included, but I swear to never turn that onto another person. I swear to never say things to hurt someone. I swear to never do things to hurt others. And I know for absolute certain that I never have. No matter what any of you think. So if you really think I'm that horrible of a person, be better than me. Because right now, you're the lowest of the low. And I'm so ashamed this place has to even look any of you three.

To the person I addressed first in this rant, I love you. And I'm so happy you put your all into this place. And whatever you decision may be, I'm with you all the way. Thank you for continuing to show and teach me how to be a better person, even when I'm surrounded by people like this.