@Kory: I hope it looks nice. It would suck if it didn't.

Well I am sorry that the day hasn't gone so well. But it sounds like you did some really good things. You got your second jab, and you even got to do a session, something I know you said you wanted.

To me that sounds like your day could be classified as a success.

I spent most of the day, at a mall, that's in DC, so I wasn't really online til 6pm est. I've nearly walked like 10k steps, which is def not my normal. My feet hurt.

@Kory: Well at the very least a refresher is good right?

I think everyone is hard on themselves, I use to be even harder on my self in highschool, it took me years to realize that i didn't have to be so mean to myself.

Some things can be close, but others can be far. Like if I want to go down to FL and Disney, it's a 16 hours drive. It's 9 to see my grandparents in NC. Europe really had it easy, cause lots of places are super close.

The resturant, we want to, it;s a brazilian steak house, but they bring like nice cuts of meat to the table, and cut it for you, it's all you can eat, and there is a market table for side dishes of like fruit and salad and stuff. So bacially i got to have a lot of steak without having to pay store price for it. Like yummy stuff.

We skipped breakfast, and didn't actually overeat. The first time I went there I ate so much, cause i use to binge eat pretty bad, but now i tend to only eat until full, but not super stuffed.

@Kory: I hope it helps.

I saw the ocean in Maryland in Ocean City.
I've been to other states, and when i was little and my parents still together, i lived in VA. I also aftter their divoriced lived in FL for a few years, but most if not all my time I lived in MD, just different parts.

So i've done a little traveling, I would love to see more of the us.

That's very true, and there so many side dish options, but like they also charge for water here, so can get costly.

As for Ikea, we only went into the marketplace, and honestly the place seemed picked barer, than i've ever seen. Maybe cause colleges started recently, but half the things I wanted, weren't in stock, so I'll have to go back.

@Kory: Yeah, my guy asked for normal water, and that brought that out. I think we were tricked into it, but whatever, it is what it is.

Not really, all those states are just fine to me. There are things I like, but nothing I super like.

My old hometown, there was no near ikea at all. So I wouldn't mind a 45 min drive as that what it was like to go anywhere, in my hometown.

@Kory: It was a huge bottle, and it did serve both of us. So there that at least, but it wasn't special. I'm like ah yes, this is water.


So I have learned that there is going to be crime everywhere. The city doesn't scare me, and I find country crime to be worse. In my old hometown, the drug problem and heroin problem was 1000 worse, than anything I've ever seen in the city. I find that if you just carry yourself like you belong in the city, nothing should happen.

I did go back sometimes. My siblings are 8 and 9 year younger than me, so like I did for awhile. My bro moved up here as he going to the same college as me. Also my mom was still there and i was there in feb, when she died.

@Kory: Yeah, houses further out are better targets, because in the cities the police and fire departments can get their faster. No so much in small towns. But now adays there are cheap systems people can buy for protected. Like even stuff one can put on windows.

Well my hometown had a big drug problem, so you'd end up seeing a lot of unhinged people. So I guess in the city, I'm just like able to ignore it. Everyone has a story and most people don't plan to end up in those places.

Well I guess that would be because you are a poc, right? When I drive home and such, and see like 5 cops talking to one poc on the side of the road, i get so worried. Like I know I have some privilege due to my skin, but less as I am not a man, but I worry so much. The cops are terrible, and it's like oh your skin has some color to it, you are now scum and must die. The worst experiance I had with the cops, was when my friend, she's a poc, was being taunted and attacked at show, and she is bipolar on meds, and she snapped and started yelling back, they came in and cuffed her and I'm like screaming, stop she's bipolar. She hadn't even done anything but yell at the white woman, who was attacking. Me and my other friends at the time held her back.

I ended up sitting with her in the hallway, while she was cuffed trying to calm her down. It was the worst ever. She didn't go to jail, but that was a mental health moment triggered by someone trying to fight her, and she was the one who got treated like a thug. It sucks, and the system needs reform.

Well I'll admit my mom dying, did reopen a lot of wounds. As i've said before, she wasn't good mum, and she had been really bad into alcohol and I think some drugs. So we, me and my siblings were estranged, but I guess always hoped that she'd get better. She never wanted to get better. So there some of that to work through now.

@Kory: Right, and it's like but if you said something, may Blank would stop doing X. But ugh.

In Florida there is something called the Baker act. "The Baker Act is a Florida law that enables families and loved ones to provide emergency mental health services and temporary detention for people who are impaired because of their mental illness, and who are unable to determine their needs for treatment." It sounds good on paper, until your father is putting 5 year old you in a mental hospital because you threw a tantrum, because ur step mother is abusing you emotionally. You the child who sleeps every day on a cot, while your step sister who only there part time, at her dads the rest, gets a real bed, all your toy, and you aren't allowed in the room during anytime you are awake.

So that kid you speak of who parents were doing being one, that was me more times than I can count. What worst I think is that the hostpials never diagnosed me with anything, or gave me meds for anything. At least if I had gotten some of the mental illness that runs on my mother side, I would understand it a bit more.

Well I think that most cops are partly rasicst, even if they don't use slurs and something. It's the same, when a white person crosses a street because they see a poc. It's beiliving sterotypes, etc. The world has so so long to go.

I know that, but it sucks, she got sober like once, truly sober. Did a whole rehab thing. It was the thanksgiving break of 2011, and she was a good mom. She like sent me back with stuff for college, she was caring, understanding, etc. But by christmas break, she was off the wagon and never recovered. Meh.

@Kory: I know. I try not to dwell on it so much, and just try to be a voice to say something if I know something is wrong. I've had to speak up before.

I do wish that they would that do something like that, but maybe the kids are safer in the hospitals than with parents who don't want them. I don't know for sure.

Yeah, that's really gross that people are like that. I feel that a lot of men don't really get how to hit on women, but same can be said about women who get creepy too.

That's true, some people don't get that lucky to say goodbyde.

@Kory: I was too young to remb what happened where I was sent. I do recall that any time, they sent me there early in the morning, like 3 am, the first day there, they would come and draw a bunch of blood. I know that I use to share a room with someone, but then got moved to a private room, when there was a rash on my lower bits. I thought it was chicken pox, but I got that two years later when I was 7. I was too young to remb much of it. But I know it was real cause my mom did confirm, my father kept baker acting me.

I don't know, my mom had lots of men in and out of my life, and questionable things, so I bascially didn't really want that life. So I refuse to have it, ot take that crap from people. I tend to be stubborn like a horse.