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Tsundererra

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TSUN ★ TSUN ★ TSUN (≖︿≖✿)

@Scribartz: I grew up in an abusive house too, but it’s just the normal way non-white people discipline their kids. Like I knew I was getting beat because I did something they did not like, not because they love me. I’ve seen people get stuck in abusive relationships because they’re scared that they won’t find anyone else, and this is their only shot at love. ): And even if some women find a way to get away, there are always those who somehow end up back in the same situation, either with the same guy or a completely new guy. But yeah, all we can do is try to offer help to those who are willing to take it, and pray they don’t fall back into the trap.
It’s a very very fine line, and some people think they’re changing for the better for themselves when in reality they’re doing it so they can feel like they’re good enough for their partner. @__@ If it’s the latter, the realization will come during a bad fight or even during a break up.

Yoooo, I was in Game Art Design too!!! But I switched my major out when I realized my brain couldn’t handle the math and programming parts of the degree. The good news is that if your psychology classes have you feeling stressed, you can always destress with art projects. :D I hope you get into the video game art design program in your school!

It could also be your medication making you feel like that. I had one medication that made me feel like a zombie, and another that just gave me splitting headaches. xD Definitely mention it to your doctor or psychiatrist next time and see what they think.

LOL, I KNOW. I’m gonna friend you because you’ve been awesome to talk to. :’D

(✿ ♡‿♡) DERE ★ DERE ★ DERE

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@Tsundererra: Honestly, if it was just that it wouldn't have been abusive to me. Like, there was rarely ever a reason for a barely 2 year old toddler [my baby sister] to get beaten with a flyswatter over spilled cheerios. Like literally, no milk. She was bringing him his cheerios because god forbid he raised a finger to get shit himself, and she tripped and they spilled. She got that for that? Like no... Not normal. But my bio dad was saudi, and unfortunately he was the sterotype. It sounds horrible to say, but he was. I fear what he'd have become had he lived just a bit longer.

Right. Like, me and my current boyfriend have been friend fo nigh on a decade. We just met for a week and it worked so well. But like, when i say we've grown together, we saw flaws in ourselves by our small tiffs over time, and we've worked on them. Had we gotten together before now, we never would have worked. But it's almost like we were both working on ourselves because we knew there were issues period, not even just for one another. If that makes sense? Like I knew i can react to some things irrationally, especially on my period. And he knows his needs for rational, and logical things can make him argumentative. And we both work on that. And when we slip up, we usually apologize, say we shouldn't have been that way, and we literally have gotten better and I just love it so much.

I don't know if I will survive the math. I know I tend to get math better when I can apply it to something. And it's what I realy, truly, from the deepest part of my soul, dream of doing. So I'm hoping that inner drive will push me to grind my gears no matter how hard it gets, while my psych degree gives me a social work career path to make money while I go to this other school. [my current school has no programs for this so i have to take these to get port folio done+have a good money making career so I can afford to move to ontario for my other school, 2 year degree.] My psych class is easy for me. Always passed with flying colors. I'm more worried about chemistry.

I will. I've been better on concerta, but my meds do give me headaches. My thing is, without them it's worse. Like... If you can imagine the static screen on a TV, but feeling it in your head? That's what I have. I want to envision these scenes, in fact, when i read i can faintly see their outlines, but full detail has been so hard to do. I've only been able to dive in if I smoke some green. xD [it's legal here but idk if i will get in trouble for saying it on here.]

Ahhh! Thank you! I'm so glad you think so. Lol. I can tend to derail and get too deep sometimes and it's annoyed people but i just love being a chatter box. LOL

Tsundererra

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TSUN ★ TSUN ★ TSUN (≖︿≖✿)

@Scribartz: I think when it gets excessively violent is when it gets abusive. I got the back of my right hand burned with a spoon that was put in hot oil because I was crying as a toddler, but I also got a big snow globe thrown at my head and had my nose bleeding for rough housing and breaking something at age 10. My family is middle eastern too... so that’s probably why the over-the-top abusive punishment sounds so familiar. I’m glad he didn’t get to live with you longer than that. My dad tried to hit me when I turned 18 (for something stupid, like wearing make up), and I was like BRO, YOU LOOK STUPID. I’M AN ADULT NOW. Yeeeep, nonwhite parents... such a joy.

Awww, your relationship sounds like how an adult relationship should be. Acknowledging each other’s flaws and working on them so you don’t get into needless fights and growing from there. And I like how you guys are able to apologize to each other when you know you’re in the wrong too. Sounds like a big improvement from the abusive relationship. :)

You can kick the math’s butt!!! I’ll be rooting for you!!! If you only have to take the lowest of low intro to chem class, you’ll be fine. Alsooooo, You seem to have everything planned out, I’m impressed. I was so confused when I started college and changed my degree path a few times. What kind of social worker do you want to work as? You should be able to fill up your portfolio with the art classes you’re about to take (and with any recent art you’ve done outside of that too).

I can’t see images in my head because I have aphantasia, but I can see how frustrating it would be to not be able to imagine things as clearly as you used to. ): I think talking about green like this is ok, it’s hard drugs that are a no no. xD You should try CBD infused food and drink and see if it helps any more or less than puffing the green.

I’m the same way, and I feel like I bother some people when it gets too deep/off topic... but I’m glad to have found another chatter box on here. :’)

(✿ ♡‿♡) DERE ★ DERE ★ DERE

Lucifera

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@Tsundererra: =O I've never met another person of middle eastern heritage on these sites I AM SO HAPPY HI! <3
If I had said that to my dad, I am not joking when I say he'd have killed me. Her threatened us with shotguns he had on his wall. And one time my older sister cursed at him. He wouldn't let her eat for a week, we had to sneak her food just so this girl would live. He was Insane on a whole other level. I'd not dare...

Yes. Like, not gonna lie, part of me is shook. Like, i grew up being told I can only marry, not date, but marry a middle eastern muslim man. So wrapping my head around dating a guy who is whiter than paper. xD That's really throwing my brain but ugh. He just gives the best hugs and was so sweet and tender and I can't wait until we live together. ^-^ We are both starting university soon though so only visits when we can. [we live like 13 hours apart by car.]

Nope. I am taking college chem. Not into to chem. That's what's going to kill me. I've never taken a chemistry class before. I was homeschooled for the better part of my childhood, if not out of school entirely. So there are gaps in my education, and I've no idea where to even begin. And I am thinking like, yound adults and teens, helping them if they are in abusive situations. Possibly doing a kind of counselling type social work thing. xD
And nope. They was 15 or my best works, and trust me when I say there are no best works here. I also need to be familiar with more than one animation program. So... Studio art will be benefitting me largely.

I want to. They sell oils up here but like, I'm hesitant because i got a really intense body high at easter dinner once and i was so giggly and a couch potato that honestly, pooobably best to wait until edibles are provided and I can experiment with those made by pros before I do much else. [cbd . makes me wonky too. idk why, it isn't necessarily supposed to.]

Always. I will chatter away whenever. xD

Tsundererra

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TSUN ★ TSUN ★ TSUN (≖︿≖✿)

@Scribartz: We are a rarity on sites like these. xD Good to have someone else who can relate culturally. Saudi men (or any of the men from the rich middle eastern countries) tend to have the worst temper. Like even with all the ass beatings and bruises and cuts I’ve received, my parents have never threatened me with any guns or starved me longer than a day. The closest I got was my mom chasing me around with a knife and being locked out of the house from like 7pm to 3am. )x Jesus, I’m surprised we’re not clinically insane from growing up this way... I only had the balls to stand up when I was 18 and told him I have the power to call the police. Surprised he didn’t kick my ass out the house, but maybe he was too much in shock.

Did you hide the fact you were dating too? My parents told me I have to marry a Muslim man from a good family, but loooooool. Only dated Asian and White men. If your paper white man makes you happy, go be with him. Some Middle eastern people are so focused on being Muslim, associating with Muslims, and marrying Muslims that they forget that being a good person is what’s most important. And hot damn, 13 hours is FAR. Canada is so huge. @__@ Kudos to you guys driving that long just to be together.

You’ll be fine if you put in effort. Go to your professor on day 1 and tell them about your worries and if there is any supplemental material that could help you out. Your college campus should also have a student center that offers tutoring for most subjects, so look into that if you do find you’re struggling. My dumb butt passed calculus through all the extra help resources I reached out to even though I was confused the whole time (still am). Lol. You’ll be fine. And your homeschooling doesn’t make your education any less than a public school students. The “gaps” your feeling can easily be filled in College. You got this!
I felt the same about my art portfolio. S: Hope you can dish out 15 awesome works this fall semester!
CDB oil doesn’t contain THC, so you won’t get high from it. It’s just the chemicals that help you calm down and focus or relax depending on the amount you take. You could try to take a lower amount if you want to try it again, and not during Easter dinner. xD I’ve always wanted to try edibles, but I’ve heard some crazy stories of people who ate too many. My state is still iffy on the legality of it all, so I’m waiting until it becomes legal before I experiment with everything. ;A;

(✿ ♡‿♡) DERE ★ DERE ★ DERE

The truth behind Reaping Ritual 2019

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Lucifera

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@Tsundererra: it's so true! I rarely meet other middle eastern people in general. Though I have met a few east indian and pakistani folks where I live. And my mom says that too! She's actually american but she says 'those guys are all crazy.' because my bio dad started out a sweetie then just snapped one day. Like I have met some that seem sweet but the stories I've read are they are sweet, then you marry them, and either by family pressure or their own fragile ideal come in and they just start being... Angry. Tempermental. Oi...

I didn't date. xD Where we lived when i was little, it was impossible to. Especially when he took us out of public school. We lived in this teeny tiny town in missouri. Hardly even a blip on the map, and in a house on 3 acres of land. Hiding the fact that we dated? I think the only person our dad wanted us to date was him [he literally slapped out bottoms and said he could do whatever cause he was our dad.] *shudders* Anyways, yeah. No. xD
And he's in minnesota, is why. But yeah it is far. He usually flies up cause it's a 2 hour flight. =P But I am driving for the next visit cause I'm terrified of planes and heights.

I plan to 100% take advantage of any and all resources at my disposal. And with where my courses all are, the library where all the tutoring and stuff is is literally right outside. xD NO EXCUSES.

Dude, I posted my insta in the art gallery section of the forums. I know I'm not terrible, but I lack so many basic fundamentals and life drawing skills that I can't honestly say anything I produce could be considered a best works. It's why I decided to even take a four year to begin with. Get some art history, modern art and aesthetics... Be able to get educated on what is good and sells and get some more tools in my belt so when I do build that portfolio, it's a banger. Ya know? Lol.

I don't like, get high. I get lazy. I have had situations where I had too many edibles but it's not as bad as you'd think. Like, the thing about getting stoned is you only get paranoia if you have something to be paranoid about. But if you do it with the mindset that you're gonna enjoy things and have fun, no panic attacks. That's how it is for me at least. But no one has ever died for THC overdose so I mean. Safest things you can accidentally get too much of. xD to be honest.

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Tsundererra

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Tsundererra

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Tsundererra

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