Purpsy's posts

I thought of you once a sister and a close friend but maybe I wasn't being too completely honest to myself. Although there are qualities of you that I like and that I wish I had but there are also parts of you that I didn't like. That I kept hidden fearing you might overeact because you just don't tolerate anyone's bs, sometimes too harshly. I know you've had your reasons to be like that way, you've told me a little bit about it before, and I know I'm part to blame because I was the first one that moved away and ignored you. Just because you said something that upset me. But my only excuse back then is that I was just hurt, I wasn't myself they were other people back then that really hurt me. So I tend to be flighty and shut people off quickly.

I didn't mean to hurt you by ignoring you, I'm sorry. I honestly though you were better off without me and you'll just move on and encountering a new sets of friends quickly. I didn't realize that was due to my very low self-esteem. And I guess whatever what happened to us was unresolved for too long it was just sweep under the rug, I honestly forgotten about it for awhile but I also can't help but feel also a little angry. You didn't say anything about this whole time. Heck I was baffled that you still consider me a friend!? I was upset on how everything was set up and our other friend has to make a group chat out of nowhere so we can talk about it. As if you expected answers from me right away when my mind back then was far off somewhere else.

But despite that, I was being completely honest with what I said and I guess you just didn't take it well. You didn't even give me time to explain fully you just ramble on and on about how much you've given in this friendship. One word that I mentioned seemed to have triggered you and then poof we no longer friends anymore. I can sort of understand why but at the same time I just have so many damn issues. I can't be that friend that will always be there for you all the time, a lot of times I'm trying to learn to be there for myself.

So idk anymore, I know I'm in a wrong but I think you also are too. Thinking back, I think we both didn't say what we wanted to each other. But I also felt I didn't get to say anything enough to explain my reasons of my past actions... so well here I am now.