Shadami's posts

I appreciate the offer.

I've had so much push back though where people have accused me of just trying to get attention, or making stuff up or things along those lines . Just negative reactions to anything I say to the point where it is hard to say anything because I'm scared to get more blow back.

Losing "friends" that didn't believe me when I pointed out flaws in them or others that were damaging them. Example: your wife is abusive, you've escaped her because she walked out to get pregnant by another man and come back claiming it was your baby even though she wasn't sleeping with you, please just finalize the separation because you were happier while she was gone... And getting the response. "No. You're lying. She came back! " :(
And than leaving my own husband for being a cheater and emotionally abusive and that same friend sided with him because there is no way that my husband was hurting me because he does the same things as his wife...
...
Sigh... There's just so many things going on.and I'm so scared to talk about them. I'm so emotionally abused. All my confidence is gone. I'm now petrified of people and he succeeded in cutting me off from all the people I once talked with.

Peeking in as I am feeling overwhelmed and sad on my birthday. I haven't had the energy to be online. And I'm social anxiety confused at this point.
There's just to much going on.
Where to even start.

@Vanora:
I'm pretty sure i've found and equipped all of the scavanger hunt things! :D

okay. i'm gonna try to equip these

@Vivienne:
i have done my teleporting mazes!

@Vyctor:
I have found the dream shrooms
and got a little carried away

My best choices.... Pretty sure they're correctly false

Awwww, I want to do the game. But I'm on mobile and don't know how to do it on mobile. I'll have to come back later when I'm at the computer

I shall sign up!!

Is it a spooky creature o.o

Life has gotten hectic again. I'm having another bout of high anxiety low copium days. My imzadi is going through a lot at work and there's nothing I can do to help him. But listen. And send hugs long distance. And support him and his decisions.
But I don't like what these people are doing to him and their community. And I do not have high hopes for them.


And I feel bad because as much as I support him and trying to work things out....I miss him horribly while he's away and I can't join him. And these people treated me bad so it stresses me out thinking about them. And I just really want to be with him and hold his hand while I'm feeling weak and insecure trying to tackle all the problems in my world.
Not all the problems in THE world obviously. Just. My life.
My world.
Bleh.
I guess it's almost like a depression. Many would say it is. But I'm not... I'm not.... I don't know what word to use. It looks like depression. But it's not an ennui exactly. It's I can't make a decision. Things I want to do I can't. For various anxiety reasons. Like . I'm going to fail. What's the point in doing this if it's not going to work. I need to finish this other thing first even though I really want to do this other thing now...

And i have having trouble not slipping into dissassociation. Losing parts of my day or having them be a blur. I'm not coping well. I'm trying so hard.

Vivienne, Spark, Frizz, Static, Arika, Constance,

just a few more names left

Vontell is the name i just spelled yay.
another Npc has been named

L is for looking to far