Ark's Post-A-Lot - Voltra Online

Ark

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Truthfully, another reason why I think I’m so into Pierce the Veil is because they’re hot, tatted and pierced Mexican emo men in a band. Ol dude is a hot, tatted and pierced Mexican emo man in a band, so listening to them makes me feel like I’m closer to him. Almost like filling a void. 🥲

Ark

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I wonder what it is about me that he didn’t like…

Did I do something wrong?

Ark

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Dating sucks.

Ark

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I feel so sad now… 😞

Ark

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I’m so in my head..

Ark

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Just thinking about the time he randomly texted me “Miss you 🖤”

He can get away with sending me texts out of the blue like that cause I’ll respond. But me? I’d be taking a risk sending a text like that cause there’s no guarantee that he’d respond.

I want to text him so bad.

Ark

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It’s just not fair. Why the change up? Did I do something to turn him off or is he truly just in such a bad headspace that he can’t be available for me?

I still find the latter hard to believe. My brain tells me that it’s just an excuse to push me away and create distance.

Ark

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He used to text me often to see how I’m doing and to ask about my day.

To see the decline of his texts over time kinda hurt.

Knowing that he hasn’t actively texted me first since February just shows where he’s at with this. I guess he’s over me.

Got what he wanted and moved on, right?

Ark

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Le sigh….

Ark

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Update on the other guy: so, we may not go to the Warped show due to time constraints on his end (I lowkey might still go if it’s not too late 👀💧), but he invited me to hang out with him and his band at the studio their recording at, so that’s a plus.

Sounds like it’d be a cool experience. I’m a little nervous at the thought of it ngl because it’s a group of strangers I don’t know, but surely it’ll be fun right? My groupie ass will get to see what it’s like to hang with a band. 😄

Ark

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I would like to hang out with dude’s band, but he doesn’t talk to me anymore. Woo hooo. 😒

Ark

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Although his Tinder bio says he’s looking for a no strings attached connection for the week, I kinda get the vibe that he might like me? Idk, the way he talks to me is like that of someone who’s interested. 🤔 Since he’s not from here I don’t want to get too invested, and surely I don’t want to think too far into it.

Ark

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I’m enjoying talking to him because he seems like a cool guy, but I worry that my niceness might get mistaken for flirting? Idk. I should just accept this while I have it for now. At least someone wants to give me their attention and share their company with me, right? VS someone I actively like who isn’t talking to me and hasn’t hung out with me since February.

Ark

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Maybe I’m just saying this for now, but I think after this guy I might take a break from dating and focus on myself. Dating is fun, but it also sucks.

Ark

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Not only that, but I’ve swiped through Tinder so much that it’s starting to show me people that I’m either not attracted to, have already swiped left on, are not my type, or aren’t even in the same city or state. I think taking a break will allow my algorithm to refresh. 😵‍💫

Ark

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With the way my groupie ass has been lately, maybe I’ll get lucky and work my way up to dating a famous rock star or something. 😂

Ark

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I miss dude so bad that it’s taking me everything in my spirit to not cave in and text him. 😣

I just want to talk to him again. 😞

Ark

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Last night I hung out with the guy, his bandmate, and their producer. We went to a bar close to my place to get drinks and maybe do karaoke. This is the same bar that ol dude said him and his friends tend to go to for karaoke, so the whole time I felt nervous thinking he’d walk in.

I couldn’t even focus on being there with them because the whole time I kept thinking about him potentially showing up and me wanting to be with him instead. 😞 And then I thought “would he care if he saw me here with another guy? If he came in with another girl how would I feel?” I really just want to talk to and hang out with him again, Jesus Christ.

Ark

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And then the whole night I couldn’t get him off my mind. I almost had to step outside the bar to compose myself because I started tearing up at the thought of him.

The guy stayed the night with me. Deep inside I felt sad the entire time and felt guilty that I couldn’t fully be present for him because I was thinking of someone else. Us chilling, cuddling, being intimate, sleeping, etc…. I wished it were with him instead. 😞

Ark

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A few days ago I saw two tarot prediction tweets for cardinal signs that said an air sign will reach out to them or send a message soon. He’s an Aries, I’m an air sign. I don’t want to give in and prove the tweet right. 😵‍💫

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