Aesyn's posts

Do you ever just get hit with intense nostalgia like...I was sorting through something in my room and found an Underground map that someone gave to me when my sister and I last visited the UK in 2017...

We moved away from the UK when I was 7, so obviously I was still looking through rose-tinted glasses, and I know it's been almost a decade and a half since then, of course things have changed even without the childlike view of my hometown that I had...

I miss it and I want to go home but it doesn't exist like it did when I was a kid.

I got that distinct feeling when we went to visit my grandma in 2017...

Home no longer exists.

Hah, funny that I keep thinking of it as home even though I haven't lived there for, what, 14 years? Two thirds of my entire life?

Hah... I miss the drizzle and the cold and bookstores, I miss the fireplaces and chimneys and the public transport like trains you can use daily without fearing your life or possessions constantly... I mean, it's still a risk, obviously, but...its safer.

I know there's tons of bad points about London and how screwed up everything is right now.

My sister didn't like it when we went in 2017, she said...it was...something, I can't remember. I think something about people being a lot less friendly than they used to? I don't remember, though, I've never been much of a people person to begin with.

Man, look at me getting caught up in nostalgia, huh...

Maybe one day I can go back but I don't even have a valid passport to leave this current country right now. Tried like three times in 2019 and even though I already had a passport before that just needed renewing, they "apparently" changed the policy so I can't get it renewed unless both my parents have local passports but my mum only has a french one and allowed to live here, ugh....I want to go home to the place that no longer exists

Rip money and everything else it takes these days huh...how am I supposed to get a job I can even do....one of my failings, huh...can't do people jobs, I'd suck at deadline things....what am I supposed to do...how much longer until I get cut off and cant find anything to do to save me

...i guess this all comes after the virus blowing over tho, of course....how long will that be? Months?
A year? Years?

Home sucks but its home I guess
Though I don't even know what home is apparently anymore