Gayspacetrash's posts
Posted in I really like the community here.
Posted 7 years ago
So far it seems really great, really loving and very open and accepting. It's nice. It feels more "serious" than Gaia, and it also seems like people aren't as big of assholes. I hope that this feeling continues as the site grows! <3
Posted in Gay Art [[ Wait list O P E N ]]
Posted 7 years ago
@Tuijp: idk man. it's pretty gay
Posted in Gay Art [[ Wait list O P E N ]]
Posted 7 years ago
@Tuijp: the gayest <3
@Kjemi: Wonderful! You can take my first slot on the wait list!. x)
@Concentricity: Of course! You're the second person on my wait list!
@chai: No worries, lol. I've been busy too so I took forever to respond as well.. >> I'll definitely take a look and let you know. And I'll send you a PM or message you on Discord with the character I'd like, bc I need to draw him for reference lmao.
@Kjemi: Wonderful! You can take my first slot on the wait list!. x)
@Concentricity: Of course! You're the second person on my wait list!
@chai: No worries, lol. I've been busy too so I took forever to respond as well.. >> I'll definitely take a look and let you know. And I'll send you a PM or message you on Discord with the character I'd like, bc I need to draw him for reference lmao.
Posted in Voltra Pathfinder group/groups
Posted 7 years ago
I'm interested~
Posted in Gay Art [[ Wait list O P E N ]]
Posted 7 years ago
okios:
Is that Toph Beifong fanart?? thanku for drawing one of my favorite Avatar characters :vanora_heart:
Is that Toph Beifong fanart?? thanku for drawing one of my favorite Avatar characters :vanora_heart:
Yessss!! It's old, so I'll be redrawing her eventually, but I love Toph!! ;0;
Posted in Gay Art [[ Wait list O P E N ]]
Posted 7 years ago
okios:
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆FaBuLoUs art thread ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆FaBuLoUs art thread ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
Thank you booo!! <3
Posted in Gay Art [[ Wait list O P E N ]]
Posted 7 years ago
Peony:
@gayspacetrash: actually i might not be too busy this week -- i could do an art trade!
you can pick anyone here that strikes your fancy c:
https://toyhou.se/Peony/characters/tags:1/extagged:needsredesign,UFS/folder:all
@gayspacetrash: actually i might not be too busy this week -- i could do an art trade!
you can pick anyone here that strikes your fancy c:
https://toyhou.se/Peony/characters/tags:1/extagged:needsredesign,UFS/folder:all
Oh, wonderful! :> I'll have to update my characters on toyhouse and then link you! <3
Posted in Gay Art [[ Wait list O P E N ]]
Posted 7 years ago
@chai:
oops, yes it's open
i changed the title so other ppl can tell lmaoooo
yessss, art trade time. <3 <3 whatchu want bb
oops, yes it's open
i changed the title so other ppl can tell lmaoooo
yessss, art trade time. <3 <3 whatchu want bb
Posted in Gay Art [[ Wait list O P E N ]]
Posted 7 years ago
This is going to be freebies only for now, since I really need to work on my coloring and lineart and such. :>
I can only do portraits or waist up for now. Need to work on anatomy, holy Hell.
I'd love to do art trades, as in you draw something for me and I'll draw something for you, but they're not required to get art. <3
If you'd like to see my art, please check out my Deviantart.
Other than that, I can't do full furries. I draw very feminine men, and I suck at glasses, but I can try~ If you want to request something, please just show me a reference or a few, and a personality helps, too!
For now, I'll take only two, and then when I finish, I'll take on more. The time to draw your requests can vary, but if it's been over two weeks, please PM me!
Current Requests
1- Peony <3
2- Kjemi<3
Wait List
1- Concentricity<3
2-
I can only do portraits or waist up for now. Need to work on anatomy, holy Hell.
I'd love to do art trades, as in you draw something for me and I'll draw something for you, but they're not required to get art. <3
If you'd like to see my art, please check out my Deviantart.
Other than that, I can't do full furries. I draw very feminine men, and I suck at glasses, but I can try~ If you want to request something, please just show me a reference or a few, and a personality helps, too!
For now, I'll take only two, and then when I finish, I'll take on more. The time to draw your requests can vary, but if it's been over two weeks, please PM me!
Current Requests
1- Peony <3
2- Kjemi<3
Wait List
1- Concentricity<3
2-
Posted in Animal Crossing : New Leaf
Posted 7 years ago
I play it! I bought a 3DS just so I could play it, actually. ^^
Posted in Stephen King
Posted 7 years ago
Locked due to 6+months of inactivity in the thread. If you would like this thread unlocked, please PM a mod.
So, after seeing the remake of IT, I decided to once again try and read the novel. I tried several times as a teenager, but I really hated his writing.. Found it dull and rambling and literally could not get through one damn chapter. However, now, at the age of 23, I've found that I am enjoying this book a ton. I'm already three hundred pages into it and I can't stop reading.
Has anyone else had this happen to them, whether it be with Stephen King or another author?
I mean, I know tastes change, but I'm just a little amazed that it's coming so easily for me now. I'm really relieved, because I thought it might be an issue with me, since everyone praises his work so heavily.
Has anyone else had this happen to them, whether it be with Stephen King or another author?
I mean, I know tastes change, but I'm just a little amazed that it's coming so easily for me now. I'm really relieved, because I thought it might be an issue with me, since everyone praises his work so heavily.
Posted in I miss my abusive ex.
Posted 7 years ago
nyx:
I'm still in contact with her. She and I have agreed to stay friends. We've really bonded over this, and I'm doing my best to keep her from going back, as well as battling it myself. I want her to be safe.
Posted in I miss my abusive ex.
Posted 7 years ago
I had earlier in my time here posted a thread about my long distance boyfriend and some issues I was having with a possible poly relationship with him. What I didn't say was that he was emotionally abusive and manipulative, and most likely would have become physically abusive had he come here to live with me. I was already having issues with him a few days before I broke up with him, but what really made me realize he was abusive was when I spoke to his other girlfriend.
He was treating her the same, if not worse than he was treating me. They had been dating long distance for a little over a year, so I can only imagine how horrible he was to her. Once she and I started comparing notes, I realized that he was incredibly abusive and viscious. I told her that we both needed to leave him and block him from our lives, for our own safety.
And so we did.
But it was hard. I had a panic attack and he yelled at us on mic for three hours, blaming everything on us, and taking none of the blame himself. I was only with him for three weeks or so, but in that time he really got to me. I've been doubting myself more lately, I self harmed, I've been drinking a lot. And no, I realize that it's not all him. I am to blame, too.
The thing that makes me sadder than anything else is that when we met, he was a completely different person. He faked a personality to get me attached to him, and then when he felt that I was really into him and wouldn't leave him, he showed who he really was. I guess he didn't take into account that I grew up in an abusive household and refused to have that for myself.
He really tore me down and made me feel like nothing. He made me feel like my anxieties and insecurities aren't worth having, like my mental issues are bullshit and I'm an idiot for ever having any type of bad day. He made me feel like I wasted his time when I wanted to get on cam with him or text him every day, like I was a shitty girlfriend for wanting to cuddle and spend time with him... Like I was asking too much from him. He could be upset whenever he wanted, and I couldn't say or do anything but comfort him. But if I didn't give him the right response, he would get even more upset and tell me I was an asshole and wasn't supporting him properly. Then he would leave and ignore me for hours.
But I wasn't allowed to be upset. My life was fine, because he was in it. He made all my problems go away, so I wasn't allowed to be sad or angry or have anxiety. He got mad when I would get upset and tell him I needed to go and have time to myself-- but I only did that because when I had any kind of emotion other than happiness or some type of sexual thing, he would say I was being dramatic and stupid. I wasn't allowed to not tell him things, even if they made him angry. I wasn't allowed to talk to other guys or talk about my very recent ex. I wasn't allowed to say no to him.
He persuaded me into sending photos of myself and doing things I didn't want to do by begging and pleading and being sad or angry until I did it. He told me he was putting so much time aside for me and I wasn't appreciating it and I wasn't being a good enough girlfriend.
All of this... all of this in three weeks, and I know he's a shitty person... But I miss him. I miss him and I hate myself for it. I don't want to miss him. I want to hate him. But I can't. I blocked him on everything, but the urge to unblock him and go running back to him is strong. I want to apologize and tell him I'll never do it again. But I know I shouldn't. I know he hates me now. And that makes me sad, too.
What's wrong with me? I don't really know why I wanted to post this.. I guess I just really needed to get it out there and I just want to know if I'm as stupid as I feel. I'm so emotional right now and I have no idea what to do anymore.
Thank you for reading.
He was treating her the same, if not worse than he was treating me. They had been dating long distance for a little over a year, so I can only imagine how horrible he was to her. Once she and I started comparing notes, I realized that he was incredibly abusive and viscious. I told her that we both needed to leave him and block him from our lives, for our own safety.
And so we did.
But it was hard. I had a panic attack and he yelled at us on mic for three hours, blaming everything on us, and taking none of the blame himself. I was only with him for three weeks or so, but in that time he really got to me. I've been doubting myself more lately, I self harmed, I've been drinking a lot. And no, I realize that it's not all him. I am to blame, too.
The thing that makes me sadder than anything else is that when we met, he was a completely different person. He faked a personality to get me attached to him, and then when he felt that I was really into him and wouldn't leave him, he showed who he really was. I guess he didn't take into account that I grew up in an abusive household and refused to have that for myself.
He really tore me down and made me feel like nothing. He made me feel like my anxieties and insecurities aren't worth having, like my mental issues are bullshit and I'm an idiot for ever having any type of bad day. He made me feel like I wasted his time when I wanted to get on cam with him or text him every day, like I was a shitty girlfriend for wanting to cuddle and spend time with him... Like I was asking too much from him. He could be upset whenever he wanted, and I couldn't say or do anything but comfort him. But if I didn't give him the right response, he would get even more upset and tell me I was an asshole and wasn't supporting him properly. Then he would leave and ignore me for hours.
But I wasn't allowed to be upset. My life was fine, because he was in it. He made all my problems go away, so I wasn't allowed to be sad or angry or have anxiety. He got mad when I would get upset and tell him I needed to go and have time to myself-- but I only did that because when I had any kind of emotion other than happiness or some type of sexual thing, he would say I was being dramatic and stupid. I wasn't allowed to not tell him things, even if they made him angry. I wasn't allowed to talk to other guys or talk about my very recent ex. I wasn't allowed to say no to him.
He persuaded me into sending photos of myself and doing things I didn't want to do by begging and pleading and being sad or angry until I did it. He told me he was putting so much time aside for me and I wasn't appreciating it and I wasn't being a good enough girlfriend.
All of this... all of this in three weeks, and I know he's a shitty person... But I miss him. I miss him and I hate myself for it. I don't want to miss him. I want to hate him. But I can't. I blocked him on everything, but the urge to unblock him and go running back to him is strong. I want to apologize and tell him I'll never do it again. But I know I shouldn't. I know he hates me now. And that makes me sad, too.
What's wrong with me? I don't really know why I wanted to post this.. I guess I just really needed to get it out there and I just want to know if I'm as stupid as I feel. I'm so emotional right now and I have no idea what to do anymore.
Thank you for reading.
Posted in Do you "shut down" when you're upset?
Posted 7 years ago
I suppose I've been doing it for years, but didn't really notice until it was brought up to me tonight. I didn't even realize I was upset, but I suppose I got upset somewhere along the line of today and completely "shut down". I feel almost emotionless. I can now feel that something is bothering me, since it was pointed out to me, but it's not really getting to me.
It's like a dream you're trying to remember after you wake up. I'm apparently speaking very robot-like and unemotionally, not like myself at all, and my responses are very monotone. I didn't realize I was still doing this, I realized that I did it in the past, but had no idea I was doing it to this day.
I'm not really sure why I do it, either, but I suppose it's got something to do with anxiety/depression and possibly childhood stuff.
Do any of you do this or do something similar? Or do you possibly have any ideas on what could cause this? I realize it's most likely a coping mechanism, but I can't really think of any specific reason I would have to use it as such.
It's like a dream you're trying to remember after you wake up. I'm apparently speaking very robot-like and unemotionally, not like myself at all, and my responses are very monotone. I didn't realize I was still doing this, I realized that I did it in the past, but had no idea I was doing it to this day.
I'm not really sure why I do it, either, but I suppose it's got something to do with anxiety/depression and possibly childhood stuff.
Do any of you do this or do something similar? Or do you possibly have any ideas on what could cause this? I realize it's most likely a coping mechanism, but I can't really think of any specific reason I would have to use it as such.