Rain started today and it is sooOOOOOO cold and I dont have warm pants because they are in the dirty laundry and I cannot wash because rain D: so now im so cold D:

It was stupid to suggest hosting Thanksgiving.
I’m the only one cleaning the apartment and I’m not fully responsible for the mess that it is in.
You asked me how you could help- I said fold and put away laundry so you completely disregard it and argue that it doesn’t need to be done by Thanksgiving. When you could have done it so I can get the rest of the house in order with out it looking like we’re fudging hoarders.

My relationship with my family right now is so strained.

I reached the anger stage of grief and am legitimately angry at my mom for leaving me here in this fucked up world.

I think about dying more and more these days.

I just need to take care of myself and I want to run and I have no where to go.

woke up so cold and a bad headache GAHHHHH D:

My nose is so sore from having a running nose D: halp
im sickkkk and my body aches.
::makes some tea and hides under my blanket::

★

I cant take this cold please sun come out.

So after getting jerked around for 2 days by people acting like they have no idea why I'm not on the schedule any more and passing me off on someone else, then not calling me when they said they would and me having to call them, I finally got an "answer" from someone at work. Apparently they don't need so many seasonal people after all and are cutting hours in my department, so instead of just scheduling me less and/or giving me other work, "They'll call you if/when they need you". AKA I'll probably never hear from them again, and if I do, it'll be too little too late.
I took this stupid job expecting that I'd be kept busy during the season and, if all went well, I'd be kept on permanently when it was all done. And if they didn't need me or just didn't freaking like me after the season was out, they wouldn't ask me to stay. No big loss. Then if I did get asked to stay, I might chance asking about getting a more stable schedule, learning other departments, etc.
But no. Not only did they never train me on register like they claimed they wanted every new hire to do, but now they don't even have the courtesy to properly let me go when they decide either they don't need me any more or I'm just not good enough for them, or whatever. They'd rather CONTINUE to string me along, talking to me as though I still have a job, but not actually giving me any work. Surely they don't think I'm just gonna sit around doing nothing until January hoping they'll call me in one or two more days before it's all over. I just don't get it. If you don't want me there, say so. Call me into the damn office and tell me you're laying me off, firing me, whatever the hell you gotta do. The season is not over; you can't possibly be totally out of work for me to do, especially when I could have been trained to go on register. You always need cashiers, but you'd rather send me home when the carts are done than send me somewhere else. God forbid you have a reason to pay me, I guess.
And what really burns me is the way I was treated prior to this nonsense: barely trained at all, literally my second day on the job and being griped at about not being fast enough when I haven't had the chance to learn where every item in the store is or how everything works yet. Having completely unrealistic goals (locate every item in under a minute, knowing full well that a surprisingly large number of items aren't actually on the floor or have been moved without notice and thus have to be hunted for and confirmed not to be found?? seriously?) and never offering anything helpful when I ask how to make it go faster.
"Well the main reason this cart took longer than you wanted was because the order was all clothing, and none of the clothing sections are labeled. Is there an easier way to find them than just hunting through the items by brand and department?"
"Nope."
well gee, THANKS. Then half the damn things aren't even put out yet at all, yet you tell me I HAVE to look for them, check the surrounding areas, and then only if I'm absolutely sure I can't find them, I still have to wait for a supervisor to look them up in the system and/or look for them on the floor themself before entering 'can't find'. But sure, tell me how I'm supposed to be finding each one in about 30 seconds... So basically y'all got frustrated that new hires couldn't do the impossible, but instead of helping them, moving them to another area, or just having the courtesy to let them go, you think the best option is to... string them along for days, "no idea why you're no longer on the schedule, we'll totally get back to you on that" and when you can't give them the slip that way, just give some BS about how "we'll call you when we want you to come work".
christ almighty
even walmart wasn't this bad. close, really really close... but at least they actually did the layoff, even if they did give me a BS excuse to go with it.
I wish my last job had been permanent. Even with the low pay, I loved going there and always felt like I could talk freely with the managers and get answers when I needed them.
But I think this might be the last time I try to do seasonal work anywhere, 'cause it is just not worth it.