Ark's posts

I've been a barista for about 5 years now. I genuinely love it, but overtime I have become burnt out and have started to question what else is out there for me. Back in March I got hired at an orthodontist office and worked as an ortho assistant, as well as a barista, for about 3 months. I left the ortho office due to the toxic environment but continued to work part-time as a barista. Since leaving I've applied to many dentist offices and various other jobs hoping to find another job to fill up my weekdays, as I work at the coffee shop on weekends. Months of applying, interviewing, and rejections went by until recently I finally got offered a job. You would think I'd feel happy and accomplished after putting so much of my time and energy into trying to find another job, but to be honest, I just feel weird about it.

A few weeks ago I went into work and was told that both of my supervisors, two of my coworkers, and possibly my manager were leaving. With that many people announcing they're leaving, the state of my job seemed up in the air. We're already understaffed, so losing a chunk of our staff would hurt us greatly. And without a manager, I was told that unless a new manager got hired in, we'd have to close the shop. All of this news came as a shock to me since it came out of nowhere. The interview for the other job was already scheduled prior to me finding out this news and happened a few days afterward. I went on with the interview thinking that, if hired, I'd work at the new job on the weekdays and the coffee shop on weekends. However, things are not going to work that way. Turns out that my manager, along with a supervisor and a coworker, aren't leaving after all and have decided to stay. That said, my manager recently decided to change our hours because even without the other supervisor and the one or two coworkers who want to leave, we're still understaffed. Instead of being opened 7 days a week, the shop will only be opened Monday-Friday until 2pm. So that fucks me over as I've already accepted this new job that is strictly Monday-Friday, 7:30am-4:30pm. Unless a miracle happens I will no longer be able to work at the coffee shop, and even though I've been wanting to branch into a new job, I don't know how I feel about this. I really enjoy my job. I really enjoy my coworkers. I really enjoy my manager. I finally got to a point where I started feeling very comfortable around them and now I'm going to have to leave... I never wanted to completely give up my barista job, I just wanted to do it on the side. I know this doesn't mean I can never be a barista again and I can apply to other coffee shops if I wanted to, it just sucks to be leaving a place that you're already established in and didn't want to leave, at least not yet. The coworker who's leaving is transferring to the shop that my manager's fiancée manages. If anything I could ask to transfer there, but I haven't told my manager about this new job yet. The new job hasn't given me a start date and will do so once I finish a background check, a health screening, and etc, so I haven't felt the need to put in my notice yet and I'm too nervous to bring up the job to him.

Along with feeling bad about leaving, I can't help but feel nervous about this new job. It's an information associate position at a dental clinic and is completely different than what I've ever done. What if I don't like it? What if I'm unhappy or not good at it? What if I don't connect with my coworkers or the patients? What if I regret accepting this? How will I transition from a busy, active job to a desk job? Will it be worth it in the end? I know these questions are purely stemming from anxiety and I shouldn't knock the job before giving it a chance, but I can't help it... When I got hired at the ortho office I was so excited, only to slightly become traumatized from the way the orthodontist treated me. I felt so depressed and unhappy there that I'm scared I'll have the same experience here... I'm trying to justify accepting the position, though. The pay will be better than any job I've had, my hours will be consistent, the job will help give me experience in the dental field and hopefully will help me build connections as it's a part of the dental school here and I've been trying to get accepted. Hopefully it will help put my name out there or get my foot in the door. This job could lead to some very positive outcomes, or at least I'd hope so. I can't help but feel weird and nervous, though...

If I didn't care about my job or coworkers, and if I weren't so comfortable as a barista, I'd be happy to leave. I should feel happy in knowing that I'm hopefully pursuing something that will benefit me later on, something I've been trying to get for so long, but alas. Maybe I'll feel better once I talk to my manager? Then the guilt will be off of my shoulders and I'll probably be more excited for what lies ahead. All of this uncertainty is definitely my anxiety speaking. For a while I wanted something new, now I've got it, and I'm scared. My sister says I'm scared of change and I definitely am. But life can't move on if nothing changes, right? I'm scared... My counselor also says I need to stop feeling bad for others in the decisions I make and realize I need to focus on my best interests. That's easier said than done sometimes. Idk why I usually feel so guilty.