Branwenembers's posts

I know this is weird but im contemplating deleting this....i didnt post this for attention or anything like that....i mainly need to get this out of my mind....and while its still in there.... knowing that at the very least a few people saw it and have made me aware that there ARE people who care has made a difference. So i dont think i need this anymore but at the same time i do kinda want to leave it...does that make any sense?

What I'm Looking for: Something kinda Newbie friendly...its been a long time since i have RP'ed. last time was on a Harry Potter Forum called Godrics Hollow back in the early 00's....so im a wee bit rusty
Genre: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Horror
Fandoms:
Naruto
Skyrim
Steven Universe
Gravity Falls
Harry Potter
Literacy: I prefer a mix of Story with conversation(meaning it should feel like we ARE the characters not just acting it out ya know)
Sexuality and Romance: I like to play both male and female characters.Not sure how i feel about Relationships(as IRL i dont have a whole lot of experience lol)I'd like to play female characters mostly, but i dont mind playing a male. I'm open to anything so long as everyone involved is having fun and is happy
Figured i wouldnt make a stupidly long list of things so if you have anything that you'd like to do PM me and we will talk it out ^_^

@Neko: Ed, Edd and Eddy was really good....i may or may not have downloaded the show to watch whenever i want X'D

Steven gets loads better as the show goes on i agree with the above statements they have to balance what they want and what the network wants

@GaySpaceTrash: sometimes? but for me when i get really upset or anxious i notice that i go into one of three 'modes'

Angry - i yell and stomp and get really aggressive(which i dont like because i dont like being mean)

Sad - I get really quiet and just want to be by myself and sometimes just cry

or like you said...i shut down or basically for me i will fall asleep really easy and just zonk out for anywhere between 30 minutes to a couple of hours depending on how bad it is

@Boris: thank you ^+^
@pixiebuns: I will be sure to take you up on that thank you

@Sasha: Scooby Doo on Zombie Island...i have it on DVD lol.

lol XD

hello! what are we talking about? lol

I have watched a good 2/3rds of the power ranger franchise. only exceptions are Mystic Force through RPM as well as most of Megaforce through current. My favorites have to be MMPR, PRIS, and PRDT

I love Scooby Doo have since i was a little kid. i have seen every episode of just about every incarnation including the live action films and tv movies. that being said here are my top 5 favorite iterations:

1. Scooby Doo, Where are you - cant go wrong with the classics
2. 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo - Vincent Price....enough said lol
3. Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated - i like the darker take of the show. that and the music is amazing!
4. Whats New Scooby Doo - i like how they kinda modernize it just a bit without losing the standard feel. plus i like how they get punk/rock bands to do music for the episodes
5. A Pup Named Scooby Doo - i like seeing Scooby and the gang as younger kids made the show even more open to a wider audience. plus the hidden jokes are awesome ^_^

@pixiebuns: thank you, its been pretty rough but im grateful to have people that i CAN talk to...sometimes people in my situation dont have anyone :(

sigh.....this feels so hard to put into words but...here i go

I am depressed
i am anxious
i am stressed out
i feel emotionally abused and neglected
but most of all.....i want to find myself or at least be the person i have found myself to be so far.

Ever since Middle school i have not felt comfortably not just in my own skin but in my own body. Years of self loathing and poor self esteem just keep layering and layering to the point i become paranoid that everyone is going to betray me and make fun of me no matter how i dress, act,talk, look, like, or just am. so i stopped talking as much...i stopped smiling as much....i stopped trying to make friends...i stopped being. then in High school i discovered Poetry and it allowed me to 'Speak' it allowed me to express myself in ways that i still to this day feel that very few understand. After i graduated High School i IMMEDIATELY started my 3 firsts...my first job...my first relationship...and my first semester of College.................. the year is now 2011....i have lost my job, flunked my first semester, and my girlfriend after we mutually broke up broke my heart and we stopped being friends.... i was in such a dark,low place that i felt as if i would never escape....my mom actually remarked at one point that she and my younger brother werent sure i'd "be here" when then got home somedays. I was able to through(ironically) subjecting myself to dealing with the dead and the paranormal bring about some light back into my life...but it was temporary.... in September of 2014 i moved out of my parents house because of hurt, and lack of feeling appreciated into an environment were i was little more than free labor.....i usually one had one meal if i didnt steal food...had no job...no money....and no support network should i have desired to leave that environment.March 2015....was the month my life changed....again....my roomates...the ones that promised me no harm...that i would be well fed and safe....moved out, broke the lease(which i wasnt on) all over a dog....i was devastated...i was heart broken....i still feel as if i could never feel close to anybody the same again...

I was able to move downstairs with my roomates sister and mother, find a job and was making a fair bit of money. with the sole intention of saving until i could move out and away from such a toxic environment....unfortunately the best laid plans of mice and men.... On june 5th approximately 3 hours after calling my sister to wish her a happy birthday....my stress, poor diet,lack of sleep, and overall mental health culminated into one single event....i started to have abdominal pains...which lead me to having to go to the ER and not being able to Call in sick to work.... Alone with no one to help me process any information i was informed that i have type 2 diabetes and suffered a diabetic shock with blood sugar levels at 500 or so..... after two shoots of morphine i was discharged and had to make a desperate call to a friend in hopes i'd be able to get a ride home...i was able to and arrived home safely.... after a couple of days calling out in hopes of trying to recover as much as i could i went into work only to be promptly fired that evening.

My depression went even deeper than i had thought it would go....No job...no money...no parents to help me.... i contemplated suicide.... in fact.....had my grandmother not called my dad and let her know how much trouble i was in.....i wouldve have woken up one morning and probably have done it in a park that i thought had a lovely sunrise.... but my dad called me the next day and told me that he was coming to get me and i needed to pack.... i dont know if it was because i'd be going to a safe place, if i was sad at leaving a friend...or what but i cried for 4 hours that day....when i got home i held my cats and just wept....i cried myself to sleep that night...


Fast forward to a year ago...i finally discovered three terms that felt right to describe my feelings....Pansexual....and Genderfluid/Gender Non-conforming.. i felt a little more comfortable after reading about them and realized THAT was what had been bugging me.....unfortunately.....i cannot express myself in ways that i feel more comfortable in...as my family is very conservative and very much against the lifestyle that feels right to me.


thank you for allowing me to write this...while i have not completely found myself.....i am just a little closer and its because of you guys that i feel safe...and welcome thank you :')

Singin in the rain
I am what i am
most of the soundtrack to The Book of Mormon
and Internet is for porn from Avenue Q XD