Juneberry's posts

@Lady Luna: Yeah I notice there are tons. I've jumped in a couple, but am still working on being stable in them xD Thus making one likely won't be necessary or happen. Still, my brain thinks a lot about things. Maybe I'll think on a writing gallery or something. Or sprucing up the quest thread. *shrugs*

And we match on being badly out of shape? o3o

@Lady Luna: Don't be sorry, I'm just weak and lack strength because... I'm out of shape and don't do enough work on that. xD Mixing peanut butter and certain other ingredients I don't recall but are equally hard... Is not easy if you're a derp mixing by hand.

Also make my brain stop thinking about making a hangout I have enough to hang out in x3

@Lady Luna: Oh? Why making them specifically for Renny~? I'm curious now~
Also peanut butter is awesome with cookies and brownies and such. I've only made peanut butter cupcakes once- because I hurt my wrist while mixing since I'm weak. That was from scratch. I often do boxed, but I do know some recipes for 'from scratch' sweets.

My boyfriend randomly sends me awesome music at points. He's gotten me really into random nightcore and instrumentals that he considers spooky and somehow I don't. One video he sent me was over an hour hour of music lovely instrumental by Derek and Brandon Friechter. The video was literally called dark lullabies and spooky doll music. Most of it wasn't dark to me at all: just nice, light background I could easily handle.

Other awesome songs and musicians I tend to obsess over (as visible by my youtube history)
-Random anime songs (recently Cardcaptor Sakura and Digimon focused)
-Ringo Biyori (an anime song I consider separate) by Rocky Chack (from Spice and Wolf)
-The Rocket Summer (I have two of their albums myself and other songs I just really like)
-Rie Fu
-Elisa Toffoli (if you like mixed English and Italian music)
-Lenka
-There For Tomorrow
-Sticks and Stones by The Pierces
-Devil's Choir by Digital Daggers

I'll stop for now. Also, those last two I've only listened to as nightcore versions, and do have some potentially explicit concepts. The bands noted are all mostly safe in my opinion, though Elisa has one song for example that is based on WWII I believe (and honestly I totally misinterpreted it originally to be dirty xD).

@Glume: Thank you~ Alpacas are adorable aren't they? I actually just managed to get the seal pup today. I was shocked. x3

@Lady Luna: It did and you're a doll. Even just saying hello is awesome honestly <3 You guys are epic~

@Lady Luna: What kind of cookies do you make? And is it from a mix or from scratch? Cupcakes are what we usually make in my house... and by that, I mean I make anything from brownies to cake in cupcake tins instead of cake molds because why not. Also we always alter the recipe from boxes so much... xD

@Glume: There are!? That's... terrifying to think of. I've always preferred elevators anyway but it's not like they're a million times safer... >w<
@Miss Kitty: I hate that I pictured it remotely. xD

@Lady Luna: So I spaced and just realized I had to hit accept again. Sorry for the delay xD Was writing a long post somewhere. But you like to bake? What do you make? o3o Do you like to make super pretty pastries?

First of all, I want to express pride in you for a few things: you notice and accept your own part in this issue and note what you could do to help improve your side of the situation. Secondly, I'm also just proud of you for talking out the problem (wall of text or not), because honestly, that is beyond important. Holding in your painful feelings is never good for you. I hope you'll always feel able to share with someone, us included, your issues.

When it comes to jealousy... I usually just admit that I'm jealous directly to my boyfriend. He knows I have times I'm jealous, and he also is the first person that was able to make me realize it's not the end of the world or making me a horrible person that I get jealous at all (I have a tendency to be very self loathing). What works for me, though, may not work for you.

I'm going to use the cabaret issue as an example. If my boyfriend really wanted to go to one, I'd probably ask to go with him. If he went alone, I'd be jealous- I wholeheartedly admit, I get a little uneasy thinking about him thinking dirty things about other girls. He's honest that it happens, and that makes me happy, but at the same time... It can hurt, even if there's nothing inevitably weird or wrong about it. I mean, I know he watches porn- so do I- and it's not like that's cheating on me or vice versa. What helps, to me, is that we talk about it- even going to the point where we go into detail about the kind of porn we watch and such. It's embarrassing as hell, but sometimes, it instead helps us bond instead of feeling jealous the other is looking at other people even remotely. When he was being hit on by his boss? He immediately told me. He told me his reaction, that it happened, that it continued to happen... And in a way, it helped me feel closer to him, and to feel less jealous in that I knew what was happening.

One issue that makes us different: I'm in an LDR, I don't live with him. Talking is pretty much all we can do. I think in your case... Maybe try to go with them when he goes to G's family's place or have G come hang out at your place for a while instead so you can all hang out together. Two meetings isn't necessarily enough to get to know why he's so close with G, right? Also, I still think you should tell him straight out that you know part of the issue is your insecurities and why you tend to be such. Showing you're not pitting it all on him is helpful!

As for mind tricks to deal with jealousy: I can't guarantee I have any specifically for that. I mostly use things I learned in therapy for other anxieties and stuff, such as self talk, reminding myself things I know he likes about me/why I like him at all, etc. Other things that help are creative writing for me, taking out my anger on video games, etc. Just remember, it's okay to feel these things that feel so dark and painful. What's not okay is being held back by them or letting them control you.

Finally... You did say some of your issues that may be part of the problem. So, try to work on them. There are non-dating-apps to help you make new friends if that'd help (literally meant solely for platonic friendship). You can also try something like taking a class to get into new activities that may lead to new friends, too. And, of course... Talk to those you already have, like us. Don't stop doing that! <3

Also make sure to keep in consideration what others here have said, 'cause I see plenty of good input so far. This has taught you about yourself, and if you talk it over, it may help you learn more about your partner. You can never stop learning about each other, because you're constantly growing and changing- that's part of life! Talk things through, talk about what you love about each other and how you've grown together, and maybe talk to each other about finding solutions to the faults you find in yourselves so you can grow even more together. Life is a team sport, and you guys are a team! <3

@Lady Luna: You do sweet things? Are you a chef? o3o Yes, I make bad puns a lot. Please don't mind it xD

@Miss Kitty: I'm not big on the idea of falling either- I prefer not standing on chairs because I'm clumsy and yet I need a step stool to get my clothes out of the dryer and worry I'll fall off it. Heck, I'm always nervous when I sleep that I'm gonna roll out of bed (because I have, but...)

And phobias and fears are interrelated so they should fit. Also how do escalators suck you up? I think my anxiety with them is more related to falling... Because I'm always afraid I'm gonna fall back if I don't step on it *juuuust right* and then start rolling in an endless loop.

@Lady Luna: Have I said you're too sweet yet? No? I should. Also hitting accept now. xD

@Lady Luna: Wait but what am I giving you. Like it was out of nowhere and there's nothing in it and I don't know what to put in xD

@Glume: I think it really depends on the people in my case. Like... some of my family, I can't stand. Some, i adore. Some strangers scare the crap out of me. Others? They become non-human in my eyes pretty quickly, and I don't mind their company at all. xD