Millet's posts

I still log on and chat for curiosity but none of my good Gaian friends are there.
The guilds I loved have died.
My account drastically lost value when Gold converted to Platinum and re-releases happened.
I had spent a lot of years and honestly quite a few bucks on Gaia.

I want them to fix themselves but I honestly feel like it's too much to fix.
The damage seems irreversible and a bit of a pipe dream. I'll be happy if
they prove me wrong.

It's been a long grieving process for me, this is a video of my cat before Lacey.
...the veterinarian that performed her oral surgery messed up. I brought her back
6 times pleading with them something was wrong (mouth looked swollen/she was getting more lethargic/etc)
and each time they told me she was fine and that my anxiety was causing Foxy anxiety.
Well one day Foxy couldn't hold her mouth shut anymore and an ER trip showed she had a massive tumor growing in her mouth around
The site of the oral surgery. Autopsy showed not all of the "roots" were removed when they did the surgery.
It devoured a third of her jaw to dust and was told chances of a recovery were slim to none.
This still burns me pretty bad... and the vets showed minimal remorse and kind of shrugged the whole thing off.
Foxy and I had a very special bond...Here is a cute video of her raiding my tea cabinet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4umJydCtE
Sigh*

I live in a duplex an hour away from work. We own our half, my fiance's parents
own the other half. "Keep it in the family kind of thing." except I hate it.
Due to being in such proximity to his folks- they really feel entitled to our time.
Don't get me wrong they are super nice people but boundaries are lost on them.
And I am a person that is anal about boundaries, tbh.
They just...randomly come over (they have a copy of our keys)
they'll come over 6am and I'll get woken up from them rummaging downstairs
to like- literally do anything. And I've spoken to them, Josh has spoken to them
but they don't get it. Changing the locks would start a shit ton of drama.

HIs parents are also LOUD AS FUCK. ESPECIALLY his father. So like, we get home
and want to peacefully relax forget it. They fight with each other SO much its always
a scream fest. And the walls are thin. I'm a very quiet person, who likes quiet.
And I'm on this auto-stress since moving in here a year ago. We did so, so to help
his mother because she was living alone- and travels to babysit our nieces- and she needed
someone to care for her dogs when that went down. DUring that time it was no issue.
But Josh's father had always lived a distance in New York and only came down for Holidays.
He worked a 6 figure job up there but was uh- terminated for being a combative person.
And so now the purpose of us living next door to them are nuked HAHA since he just decided to retire and
is now a nightmare neighbor. (again I care about him and love him, he's a good father-in-law.
But he does have emotional regulation issues, and is kinda sorta losing it slowly and just YELLS
angrily at everyone and everything 24/7. It's overwhelming I want my life back.
Josh thankfully agrees and after Winter we will be looking for a new home since his mom doesn't
need our help anymore. We also came here to help Josh's aunt who has been battling cancer on and off
but...she feels to guilty and at this point feels embarrassed...I wish she didn't feel that way. We have no problem
coming to help but she's also mega introverted like me and just wants to be alone and do the best she can.
It's kinda hard on the heart knowing she needs help but obviously we will respect whatever she deems best.

So the past week was the absolute busiest week on record at the office.
This is a good thing, our business is beyond thriving which obviously means cha-ching.
That being said we hadn't been well prepared for such an influx. With clients we did fine,
but the amount of paper work has overwhelmed and swamped me. We are presently "past" our
goal of clients. And into the "We have too many to be able to function" and it's been like that since
the beginning of October and only become...worse ins't the right word. It's still a good thing. Just harder
to bear. We're a small clinic so hiring more staff than we have isn't gonna cut it.

I spent the night at the office last night to catch up on work. I got about half of it done (WHICH WAS A LOT TRUST ME)
but man. I had a good night. It's so quiet here....If not for Lacey I'd be tempted to tell Josh I'll live here and he can stay
at the duplex until we are ready to move somewhere new HAHA. But that isn't viable. I didn't expect to be so...relaxed..
Despite the excessive amount of work. I got a good nights sleep, I'm not being startled 50 times.
Like just imagine that, you work a 50 hour work week and you have no where to relax and wind down. Your own home
just randomly BLARES off in sudden loud sounds that startle you left and right. That's been my life the past year now
and I've been losing my mind. If I wasn't so sensitive to noise it wouldn't be an issue but like I legit kink my neck or something
left and right just from hunching up/flinching whenever his parents are loud on their half the duplex. It'll be quiet then bam,
screaming swears and slamming pans. I've been kinda falling apart over the constant stimulation.

I NEED PEACE. I NEED QUIET. I'm rather easy to please I just want a dark sound proof room to crawl into as needed.
It can be small ;_; just ahhhh. I can't handle this much stimulation and interaction without some damn peace.

Also RIP the car accident the other day has been more stressful than I thought. My neck seems to be doing better,
but ever since my left elbow is dislodging and locating twice as much and I'm just constantly in pain haha. kill me.