Saeyra's posts

@Yandere: I hope so too.

And yeah! Exactly! You are absolutely right. It didn't really help at all that he was in an urn and not a coffin. He wasn't..person-shaped? So my brain was like "naaaaah thats not him, that's just a jar"

Two people gave speeches at the funeral and they could barely speak, the speeches were really short. I wish I had the strength and command of the Croatian language to make a speech too because I felt like they only saw one side of him, the side of him that goes to work and talks about hobbies. They didn't see how he was with his family. He wasn't much different but he had more layers than what he showed to most people. He had the stupidest dad jokes ever and he kept telling the same ones over and over even if they weren't even that funny haha. On our birthdays he would do this formal handshake thing where he wished us health, happiness and luck. We would always roll our eyes when he did it because it felt really silly but he insisted on doing it every year. He would hold out his hand expectantly and have that silly twinkle in his eye like "you know what time it is" and we would just shake our heads and laugh before going through the whole thing awkwardly. Y'know, that kinda stuff...

The thing my husband and I are most broken up about is that he never got to meet his grandkids. We both know he would go absolutely crazy about them and they would be crazy about him. All we can do now is tell them stories about him but its never gonna be enough..
Its abit silly cos they don't even exist yet except in our imagination but we took it for granted that it was what our future was gonna look like..

@Skittex: Welcome to our little community! I am glad you found us! I hope you enjoy your time here and I will see you around on the other parts of the forums!

@Yandere: My father in law was 61 when he died. Its really too young to lose them. I hope your mother in law lives a long time still.

Well there was alot of people at the funeral. His coworkers from work took 2 whole vans.
The army being there and giving the gun salute and flag ceremony was really cool.

I am still kinda torn on funerals. It was super painful for his mom to watch him get buried..I didnt feel any closure but it was nice to see a whole crowd of people who really cared about him. Plus the country paid their respects to a good man. My brain still doesn't believe he is dead..I thought the funeral would help but it didn't.

It was a really short affair. Less than 2 hrs. But the day was sunny and beautiful and that really helps imagining he is somewhere happy and smiling..

@Terror 404: Yeah I agree with you. The database of items here is pretty large considering its age. The event items and commons are quite a fair amount. Not to mention the RIGS are quickly adding up as well. I hope you don't find it too daunting to find which items you want. If you see an item you like and don't know the name just ping me and i'll try to help you out.

@chouchou: what a good kitty! Did you train it or was it always like that?

@Terror 404: Welcome to Voltra! I am glad you are liking it so far. We are a pretty new site but we do try to make every new user feel special. If you need items the charities are really generous and/or the quest forums where you can quest for specific things you want. It's always nice to see a new face and I hope to see you around more

@TheGreatPretender: aww i am sorry to hear that. I don't have experience with trees allergies. Mostly food, metals and airborne stuff like dust and pollen.

@chouchou: haha okay I will bite. What's my song?

@Yandere: oh how old is she? I know how you feel... I get really worried too when my parents get sick and I want to fly over for every little thing but it takes me like a month to prepare for the trip and make sure all my affairs are in order plus its expensive. So I try to make an effort to just call as much as possible and fly over every couple of years... you cant really predict what life is gonna throw at you next so you just do your best..

I am glad she is doing better now though

I have no strong opinions on funerals yet. I'll let you know after this one..I have been to a few before, one was a mother who lost a son and the other a daughter who lost a mother..it was extremely sad to watch both times and I am kinda dreading watching my husband go through it and experiencing it myself.. I so far just hate that they call it a final goodbye when you aren't really ready to say goodbye yet...

We ordered the flowers today. Its gonna be white and red roses so I think it's gonna be beautiful at least. He was a soldier for awhile and fought in a war so he is gonna get the gun salute and the folded flag ceremony from the army. The other nice thing is the army is helping us pay for the funeral so that's a huge relief.

@Yandere: I hope your husband's mom gets well soon... What is she sick with? I am kinda feeling worried too. I don't want you and your husband to experience what I am going through...

My husband's gramma is having the toughest time I think. She has to bury her son. And she is still living in the same house he did and all his stuff is everywhere. Today she had to go through photographs of him to choose one for the funeral. She is...*sigh* i don't even know if I have the words to explain how much pain she is in right now..

Thanks for listening to all this. I know it is depressing and stressful..I just have to tell someone..yknow. .writing it all out kinda helps abit...

@TheGreatPretender: ah yes allergies..the bane of my existence. Try to find the source of the allergies and eliminate it if you can. Air filters might help if it's airborne

@Uncledaddy: Maybe associate it with something good like reward yourself everytime you do it by maybe sitting down and doing something you like. (Maybe watch some tv, play a game, do online shopping or eat something good). I used to tell myself I couldn't have a nice hot shower if I didn't work out first so I ended up working out even if I hated it.

I am not sure if this will help you but that's how I would handle it if it were me. I hate needles too and if I had to stab myself with one I would be super anxious as well. Hell I couldn't even give myself eyedrops. I needed someone to help me with that coz I would hold my breath trying not to blink and pass out.

@Yandere: ..have you experienced losing a parent too? This is my first time..it's pretty shitty (not the right word but I can't think of another one atm). I cant look at his stuff and even just remembering his hat and bag he used to take to work just sitting there makes me wanna fall apart. I know I am gonna survive this..I just don't know how..

Sorry I am telling you all this..you are easy to talk to...

@Yandere: omg that's a crazy amount!
Sorry I haven't been replying. I was travelling home from my trip..

On the last day of the trip something terrible happened..we got a text message that my father-in-law had a heart attack and he died..I loved the man dearly and it's a huge blow to my husband as well. He was only 61 years old. We are currently trying to plan a funeral and pick up the pieces of our life. Don't really know where to start..but we have a strong family unit that's helping out where they can with papers and things..I still can't believe he is gone. It feels like he has just gone on a trip somewhere where we can't call him..but not gone gone...