I may have hit my mental exhaustion. Strike that. I know I have. The past couple of weeks has seriously taken its toll on me. My brain honestly don't know what to do with itself and its putting my mental state in a really bad place. I was going to take a few days to...figure things out, but low and behold, Voltra Event..lol. That timing. Not that I'm complaining about the event, but it's going to force more out of me than I have to give. Guess I'll just try to take it slow.
Forums Serious Talk Confessions (Make a Confession)
I may have hit my mental exhaustion. Strike that. I know I have. The past couple of weeks has seriously taken its toll on me. My brain honestly don't know what to do with itself and its putting my mental state in a really bad place. I was going to take a few days to...figure things out, but low and behold, Voltra Event..lol. That timing. Not that I'm complaining about the event, but it's going to force more out of me than I have to give. Guess I'll just try to take it slow.
I just found out that, while my husband was in Georgia for work this past weekend, he got very drunk both nights that he was there. He texted me once or twice each night, letting me know he was drunk but okay. He doesn't normally ever drink with me, at all, so the fact that he'd drink with his work buddies but not with me already had me feeling a little hurt.Then I find out this week that he vented to a female friend of his, Dani, from before we met, about how his job was getting to him and about how he's feeling in our marriage. And my husband was telling me how Dani and her parents used to talk about how my husband and Dani would end up together one day, and how upset Dani's parents were to learn he was married. My husband also told me, to my face, mind you, that his and Dani's crafting powers combined would be a force to be reckoned with. And I was sitting there like "What am I, chopped liver?" I'm the one out of my husband and I that is constantly trying to craft something or other, and my husband said that to my face like there wasn't anything wrong with saying it? I just honestly don't know how to feel about my husband venting to another woman, whom I don't know, about our marriage and how he feels about his job and whatnot, especially when he isn't comfortable saying/sharing any of this with me. It really upsets me and makes me jealous and I have no idea how to convey that to my husband.
Fade on Solia/Fadeykins on Sapherna
Please PING me so I'll see your response <3
Juggy is my mule~
Please PING me so I'll see your response <3
Juggy is my mule~
[x]
pls don't
(1) As Silly As It Is, Having My Name Set To Godawful Makes Me Feel Better About Having No Skills Or Talents That Stand Out. I Dont Know Why.
(2) I Still Remember When You Told Me That I Was A Big Reason You Were Depressed. I Dont Know If You Did That Just To Hurt Me Or Not, But That Stuck With Me. I Cant Believe You Told Me That Just Because I Wouldnt Date You. I Know How Awful Depression Can Be. I Know How Much Depression Can Affect Someone. The Fact That You Told Me, To My Face, That I Was A Major Part Of That In You? Made Me Feel Like Crap. And It Has Made Me Worry That I Somehow Cause Depression In My Other Friends. Its Been Over 5 Years Since Youve Said That And It Still Plagues Me.
(3) Please Dont Call Me Lazy Because Im At Home Most Of The Time. It Makes Me Feel Like Garbage. And You Know Damn Well I Cant Leave Her Alone. The Guilt Would Kill Me If Something Were To Happen When Im Gone, And I Know You Would Yell At Me. Because Youve Done It Before.
(4) Youre A Garbage Sibling. You Constantly Make Jokes About My Sexuality, And That Would Be Fine, If You Werent Always Using Slurs To Do It. You Constantly Berate Me About Not Leaving Home Despite Knowing Why I Dont. You Keep Pushing Me To Apply For A Job I Dont Want, And That I Have Already TRIED Getting Despite The Fact. And Call Me Lazy When I Say I Dont Want To. You Would Constantly Call Me An Idiot, Yell At Me, And Piss Me Off Just For Fun. I Was Glad As Hell When You Moved Out. You Seem To Be A Slightly More Decent Person Now That Youve Matured A Little More, But I Remember All The Shitty Things Youve Called Me, And That Makes Me Glad I Personally Hardly Ever Have To See Or Hear From You.
:vanora_neutral: :vanora_neutral: :vanora_neutral:
c'mon okios give us da goods
[ often multitasking unsuccessfully ] | [ I may take a while to respond, but haven't forgotten you! ♥ ]
qu'est-ce que tu vas chercher?
qu'est-ce que tu vas chercher?
I'm back ^^
I confess that I over question. That most def isn't healthy.
But I also confess people need to word things better or explain instead of just being so darn one worded.
I confess I will probably continue to over question and doubt and be weary of people and their 'hidden' objectives.
I'm going to question why people want to be my friends, or if they really are.
I do this because, while unhealthy as it is, its a part of me. Yes, it should be fixed and changed, but that doesn't happen over night.
And if I hold it in and I don't question, I'm not me anymore. I just accept everything as it is and that kills me inside. And I don't want to be walking around as a zombie the rest of my life. Nope. Not who I am.
do I really want to know what okios is on about or not
*pats Kitty*
*pats Kitty*
"I'm the loser of the game you didn't know you were playing."
Ping me for a response.
"Someday, somewhere, somehow..."
Ping me for a response.
"Someday, somewhere, somehow..."
do [.spoiler] text text text [/.spoiler] without the dots!
confession time? i always hold back, big time, with these threads, rip
I really want to change the way I do my social media! I feel a bit behind on engagement with my audience and I wonder if it's a lot of things. Like perhaps all my social medias feel the same and stuff. I almost don't really want to change the way I do it either. Like I mainly post my finished art to my main accs, youtube is different cause I can do speed paints but that's really it. I enjoy sharing my finished works to my accounts, and don't really want to turn a main account into a doodle dump account. uuuhhhgg :')
Find my illustrations here: https://twitter.com/Lydiachan22
@Elithiya:
Honestly, reading that just made me feel so much better.And yeah. It isn't like we're trying to hurt them on purpose. We obviously don't want to be questioning every little thing. And it sucks when we do hurt them, but I'm glad we got people who understand and put up with our issues ^^ Sorry, I just got home and so my lack of words right now is...not doing this post justice in the least lol. But thank you, a lot ^^
And hi dipper :P
Part of me wonders if I've put the ideal relationship and what I want on a pedestal so high that if someone WAS to show me interest and didn't fall into exactly what I wanted I would screw myself out of a chance to be with them. I mean, so far no one has shown me interested except when they mistake me as a butch lesbian (I'm a gay transguy), so I mean... no worries yet. But it is a fear. I'm tired of settling, but it makes me worried I won't compromise anymore.
call me rheo
(please don't capitalise it)
(please don't capitalise it)
sail with me into the dark
Batsy Says. . .
I am feeling...less and less in love with my boyfriend.
It's not that he doesn't really get me. We actually have tons of things in common.
But I am starting to feel...like I am not who I thought I was.
I always thought I was bisexual. But lately the scale is tipping and not the way I thought it would.
And I am currently dating a man. But i'm not very sure...if I truly love him.
We've been dating for over a year and have known each other/been friends for two years.
And he loves me so much but...I don't know. I feel a little...empty inside.
Sometimes he doens't get me or understands what I need.
but he said before i jump the gun we should date before i break it off if I do decide to.
I haven't had experience in dating. Especially in real life. Most of my relationships have been long-term.
And i know that is a factor. But what I knew of my life...is slowly becoming a blur of confusion the past month or so.
It's not that he doesn't really get me. We actually have tons of things in common.
But I am starting to feel...like I am not who I thought I was.
I always thought I was bisexual. But lately the scale is tipping and not the way I thought it would.
And I am currently dating a man. But i'm not very sure...if I truly love him.
We've been dating for over a year and have known each other/been friends for two years.
And he loves me so much but...I don't know. I feel a little...empty inside.
Sometimes he doens't get me or understands what I need.
but he said before i jump the gun we should date before i break it off if I do decide to.
I haven't had experience in dating. Especially in real life. Most of my relationships have been long-term.
And i know that is a factor. But what I knew of my life...is slowly becoming a blur of confusion the past month or so.
If you need my attention for any reason please ping me.
[My Website] | [Twitter] | [Instagram] | [Tumblr]
Tired of this crap
|
You must be logged in to post
Login now to reply
Don't have an account? Sign up for free!
Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.