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Posted in Feeling defeated Posted 4 years ago
Moody Says. . .

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May or may not even respond if this even gets responses because *social anxiety* and might be too afraid to reply back.

Anyways i just feel defeated by life overall. I know others have it way worse.
But whenever we do zoom meetings with my mom i always leave more traumatized because her meds for pain just
are not helping her anymore so she's practically begging for it to stop, because covid, i can't see her or help her.
and idk how long i can keep doing these zoom meetings. she's either sleeping or in so much pain and its very painful to just sit and watch.
and nothing helps her during those times either or pain meds take either too long to kick in or they just don't work anymore for her.
She had a stroke about 10-11 years ago, she also suffers from a mild case of MS, and she has Dementia.

And life wise, i feel im just drifting. I don't feel like socializing to anyone, and i know my art is no good and lately feeling
should i even keep pursuing art anymore since a huge goal for me is to kickstart a freelance digital art career like having my own Etsy shop.
I probably will always draw because it's a huge part of me and my life.
But lately...it feels like i have nothing and idk if my work is worth anything or anything i do is worth while.

I know i could just "find a new hobby" but i don't even know if i have the mental power to dive myself into something new.

just feel like right now, i have nothing.
Moody Says. . .

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@Wildfire: vertigo may not happen except in the morning
but the after affects last all day long.

so often i feel very confused and can't put words into proper sentences
when i talk out loud because my brain is still very confused.

not sure what caused it this time but knowing me i stressed myself out
by something stupid lol.
Posted in ~ * Starglow Cavern * ~ Come Freeze With Us! Posted 4 years ago
Moody Says. . .

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@Kaeya: hopefully i can reach that goal, its hard lol

i mostly dont know what to do during events.
maybe i'll check it out later today.
Moody Says. . .

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@Wildfire: not really. head just is gonna feel very foggy today. :vanora_sweat:
Posted in ~ * Starglow Cavern * ~ Come Freeze With Us! Posted 4 years ago
Moody Says. . .

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@Kaeya: yeah i have bad habits at night lol.
i used to go to bed at 12am but i feel thats too early now. so goal is 1-1:30am.

i never know how to do events in games lol
one of these days i'll learn lol
Moody Says. . .

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I am getting hit hard with vertigo for some strange reason.
Posted in ~ * Starglow Cavern * ~ Come Freeze With Us! Posted 4 years ago
Moody Says. . .

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@Kaeya: yeah some more sleep would be nice for you.
i need to go to bed earlier than 2:30am so i can get up before 11am lol.

And i finally got back into my genshin game and got to rank 17 woo!
since i have not felt too good im on my genshin kick again XD
Posted in Jabberwocky Junction (come chat!) Posted 4 years ago
Moody Says. . .

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@CycloneKira: I do digital art. I mostly do busts and sometimes full bodies.
a lot of my work recently has been busts so i can focus on faces.
I do a lot of female character designs or fanart.

Hope your cramps go away soon!
those are never fun.
Posted in ~ * Starglow Cavern * ~ Come Freeze With Us! Posted 4 years ago
Moody Says. . .

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@Kaeya: That would be great.
I just wanna get up maybe at the latest...10am.

11am i feel i wasted the whole morning sleeping.
Moody Says. . .

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@Wildfire: I limit myself now because i don't need that many variations.
most i do is two but even then i try to stick to just one.
Moody Says. . .

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@Wildfire: All together technically 8 adding PNG's and PSDs lol.
But back when i did that piece i struggled with finishing or being satisifed with it.
but since then the most i have is two versions. and then i usually have watermarked and non watermarked.
None watermarked is best for my online shop cause the watermark just gets cropped lol.
Moody Says. . .

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@Wildfire: one of my old drawings from 2018 had like...4 variations and im like "??? how do i find anything??"

so its much easier to find things like my portrait studies or art series im working on.

and when this year ends the finishes pieces go into finished art folder. :vivihappy:
Moody Says. . .

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@Wildfire: I can find things easier to it's super helpful.
as i had like...200-300 files all together in just my main art folder.

so it was super hard to find certain files.
and i had a lot of double files since i keep the full PSD file if i want to edit it
and the PNG/JPEG for uploads and updating my online shop.
so now i can find things easier.
Posted in Jabberwocky Junction (come chat!) Posted 4 years ago
Moody Says. . .

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@CycloneKira: pretty good, working on some old art from 2020.
hoping i can finish it this time lol.

How are you??