@Totalanimefan: therapy's been physically n' mentaly draining, hence my absence lol... as for progress, he says I'm improving, but I dunno u.u
Ping me and bring me food..=0.0=
@DreamerZ: I’m sure you are. It’s not something you can see daily. You have to go back and think to how it was when you started. I had therapy today (the mental kind) and it was good but it was a lot.
@Totalanimefan: I'm glad you had a good time with your mom. I'm glad they at least pay you well for what all you have to go through mentally for it. Happy Easter!
@SorrowTheMad: happy Easter to you too!
@Mandy Amour: Hey it's so nice to see you! I'm good. I got a new job in Jan and the training was tough but I got through it and I'm enjoying the job now. How have you been?
Oh, a new job? that's awesome, what are you doing now if you don't mind me asking?
@Mandy Amour: That sounds rough. I hope that you can heal quickly. How do you feel about the healing and how that's going so far?
I'm an analyst and an auditor.
It's been a rollercoaster I guess is the best way to put it. I have good days and bad, some days I feel like I'm stepping closer to getting the strength back and then the next day I feel like it's gone all over again. It's been a little emotional so far but I just stick with it. I mean as frustrated as I am, it's better than not doing anything and it never gets better. I just wish it was a pain people could see. So many times people look at me like I'm fine like I should be back to normal, and I'm not even close to there yet. Makes me feel awful but as long as I know I'm doing my best, that will have to do for now.
EDIT: I haven't been able to sleep so I decided to do a voodoo doll of my new avatar lol, I may have to add more details when I've slept a little, but for now this is how she looks haha
@Mandy Amour: During the pandemic I was let go, and then rehired a few months later and then let go again (jerks!). Then I tried interviewing at other places and they all said the same thing, do you have your 4-year degree. I said no, only my AA. So I wouldn't get the job. In 2021 I decided to go back to school and I did an online school. Loved it, studied business and then including the credits I already had and my hard work being a full time student, I finished in Sept 2022. Started looking for a job again and passed my interview at the end of Nov. Started Jan 2023.
That's so hard! Just know that no one sees the full picture of your life but you. No know can know what it feels like to be you, but you. You are doing the best that you can each day. It's not a perfect scale upwards. Honestly 2020, 2021 and 2022 were really tough on me mentally. I decided to go back to therapy, and I'm not done but I feel like I've made progress since Dec. Maybe if you look back a few months you will see overall progress, but not every day will be progress from yesterday.
Your new art looks so cute! I love it!
Im happy that you were able to go back to school and to finish! that's amazing, you should be so very proud of your accomplishments thus far!
I hope this new job, although tough at first I'm sure, leads you in a better direction and offers you more opportunities, not just because you deserve that but also because I hope in some way your success screws over the other job for how they treated you.
Thank you for saying that. Yes, I must remind myself every day that I have new limitations but that in the end, I should be back to full strength soon, I just have to be patient with myself and my body as it heals. It's hard sometimes though, we get so fixated on what we can't do, and forget what we still can do. I really have to remind myself more that while I may be struggling right now, that won't always be the case. Mind you, after the years we've had, I would wager I myself could use some good therapy to help move past all the crap we've witnessed these past few years..
@Mandy Amour: Thank you. I agree. Luckily, in the end it was ok because my husband makes a lot of money from his job, but it was still shitty and it still hurt and I still wanted to work there.
Thank you again! I'm really proud of the fact that I went back and I finished. I also wanted to, but I never felt like I had the time or money but this school was affordable. And the fact that I finished so 'quickly' after they accepted my credits from my AA degree was nice too. I really like this current job! They treat me very well and I like all my coworkers and the job itself. I hope that I can stay. It's a contract position but my boss already said that she made a case for me to budgeting to get me converted to be a regular employee there.
It's so easy to get caught up in that and to see all of the negative. The process is a long and slow one (and I wish it wasn't!) I needed some therapy after all that happened in the last 3 years.
@Totalanimefan: I got lost in books again! So it ended up not being the landlord, but the appliance repair tech who just cleaned the dryer vent. Our dryer hasn't been hooked up to it since tyi's mom moved in because it was clogged, so it's nice to have that done. I see you had a good time with your mom, that's always nice. I completely understand the argument thing- it's rare that my mom and i don't get into it at least once when she visits; usually it's cause she needs things explained when she's wrong so she can understand, but she doesn't like it lol I'm getting excited for my mom's visit though. She should be here early on sunday, but her rental car isn't going to be available until about 2 or 3, so she said "so I will go to Fox and stare at their ugly faces all morning. Don't know what else to do." She's funny and has a sick sense of humor that catches tyi off guard a lot. it amuses me. So once she gets the rental, she's going to come pick us up. Tyi's only doing the first two days with us, and the last two days of her trip. i will be spending the whole trip with her.
@Totalanimefan: How's it going? Did you have a good Easter?
@Mandy Amour: Thanks. I think it's all good news for me. Even if they don't right away, my contract is until the end of Nov anyway, so lots of time for them to formally hire me. How are you doing today?
@Alorrena: Nothing wrong with getting lost in a good book! It's nice that your mom is almost here. It's really exciting. I'm sure overall you guys will have a good time. I think sometimes parents have a hard time with their kids being an adult now.
@SorrowTheMad: I did have a good Easter. I took it easy and made a nice Easter dinner. What about you?
@Totalanimefan: Yeah, my mom says that a lot of parents don't know how to let their kids be adults, and that most haven't been taught how to do so. My mom has had a lot of help with my older sibling and myself with how to raise us and how to allow us to be adults. I was in counseling and had PSR workers a lot when i was a preteen, and my older sibling had the same, but for longer, since they're autistic and needed more help. A big part of all of that was also the psr workers teaching my mom how to be a better parent and how to let me and my sibling become adults and to allow us to be independent. Most parents don't get that, so it's harder for them to let go. I think a lot of parents don't know how to stop parenting their kids as children. I think that's part of why my mother in law butts heads with her grown kids (and myself) and why my gf's dad is always on her case about everything she does that he doesn't like.
Im doing okay, my back is sore but I did sleep better than I have been. I had to install my airconditioner already. which sucks but I can't handle it. If the windows in this house weren't storm windows and actually opened it would be different to let the breeze come in, but because they don't open it becomes a sauna in here, and I can't do heat waves and a sore back together lol
Did you have an alright day today?
@Alorrena: I agree. I see it a lot with my mom, but I think it's because her mom died when she was 23, so she never really got to spend a lot of time with her mom when they were both adults (she also had a stroke when my mom was in high school). So I think my mom had an extra hard time with it cause we are different people but also her mom dying so young. I'm also the oldest which makes it harder for me too XD (I have one younger sister)
I do think that's also a factor with your MIL, but also that she is a bit crazy/controlling.
@Mandy Amour: Thank you. I think that July 1st is there fiscal new year, so I'm hoping it's before that but I think that you still can be converted at anytime, and like you said there isn't a rush cause they could extend me in Nov too. It's not just conversion or leave. I think they are reclutent(sp?) to hire because it's a union job when you aren't a contractor.
That's good. To me there is a nothing better than a good night's sleep! I love it so much lol. I had to put my AC on already too. It's been in the 80's here which is June temps, not April.
Had a good week. Watched lots of anime and played video games after my nightly walks. Today I'm going to meet a friend at a bar I've never been to and we are going to see a live performance. It's not too intense cause the venue is outside. Makes it more chill.
https://www.threads.net/@hannahfoll____
Discord: Totalanimefan
@me
I'm friendly and will chat with anyone!
@Totalanimefan: Yeah, that can be rough to not have an example from her mom because people definitely learn and then teach from experiences. With my MIL, i think it's a BIG part of why she is the way she is. But also she struggles with her mental health because her family seems to look down on psychiatric help/aids, even though her second child had down syndrome (she passed away when she was like 3 months old, on Halloween). I don't get that family's aversion to psychiatry. Luckily my husband isn't like that.
In other news, my mom is currently sitting in portland, OR waiting for her flight to orlando.I'm super excited, and have MOSTLY finished packing my clothes for the trip since i won't be home until she leaves. I've also planned my disneybounds (the skirt i made, i have a yellow dress and a matching scrunchie, a green dress that matches the style of the yellow dress that gives me merida vibes (it got noticed by peter pan last year and he said i look just like his shadow, which i loved), and i have a baby blue spaghetti strap shirt that i'm pairing with my light colored jeans for a cinderella vibe) and i'm going to wear my space dress when i go to the kennedy space center next weekend. I'm waiting on a load of laundry right now so i can pack my husband's clothes for the days he's joining us lol, and then i have to run through my list (and make said list lol) of non clothing items, and then i'll be done packing!
Mom's flying standby so if she is able to get on the flight tonight and isn't bumped, then she'll have a long wait at the airport/car rental place since she can't get the rental until 2 or 3. Which actually ends up being lucky for me because I forgot to close the washer lid and i have a couple shirts in there that i don't trust in the drier (cause of the design. i feel like if it was put in the drier it would peel or flake off and i don't want that since they're Tyi's favorite shirts) so they need to air dry.
In other news, my mom is currently sitting in portland, OR waiting for her flight to orlando.I'm super excited, and have MOSTLY finished packing my clothes for the trip since i won't be home until she leaves. I've also planned my disneybounds (the skirt i made, i have a yellow dress and a matching scrunchie, a green dress that matches the style of the yellow dress that gives me merida vibes (it got noticed by peter pan last year and he said i look just like his shadow, which i loved), and i have a baby blue spaghetti strap shirt that i'm pairing with my light colored jeans for a cinderella vibe) and i'm going to wear my space dress when i go to the kennedy space center next weekend. I'm waiting on a load of laundry right now so i can pack my husband's clothes for the days he's joining us lol, and then i have to run through my list (and make said list lol) of non clothing items, and then i'll be done packing!
Mom's flying standby so if she is able to get on the flight tonight and isn't bumped, then she'll have a long wait at the airport/car rental place since she can't get the rental until 2 or 3. Which actually ends up being lucky for me because I forgot to close the washer lid and i have a couple shirts in there that i don't trust in the drier (cause of the design. i feel like if it was put in the drier it would peel or flake off and i don't want that since they're Tyi's favorite shirts) so they need to air dry.
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.