Ark's Post-A-Lot - Voltra Online

Ark

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Tomorrow is July and the autumn semester starts in August. If I haven’t heard back from school at this point, I think there’s a guarantee that I’m not going to be accepted…

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Sigh…

If I don’t get accepted, I honestly don’t think I’ll have it in me to apply for a third year in a row.

I’ve already been rejected twice. If I’m rejected a third time then it’s the end of the line for me.

Ark

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I should start thinking of a possible plan C, because honestly idk if I can see myself doing dental assisting for the rest of my life. I never really wanted to be a dental assistant. I only got the certificate as a back up plan incase dental hygiene didn’t work out, but honestly dental assisting isn’t fulfilling.

Ark

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I feel so out of place at my job because I know I don’t want to be a dental assistant. I just haven’t conjured up the guts to quit yet. But If I don’t assist or if I don’t get accepted into school, then what do I do?

Ark

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I can’t be a barista for the rest of my life. While being a barista is fun and I love the free coffee, it’s not a career in my eyes. At least not for me.

I want a career, but what should I do?

Ark

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Nothing truly interests me…

Ark

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I am so unhappy.

Ark

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I hate myself. I wish I weren't such an anxious baby.

Ark

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My anxiety affects my life so much...

Ark

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It kind of annoys me when people tell me "try not to worry about too many things at once," as if my anxiety allows that.

I wish I could.

Ark

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I hate that I panic when it comes to making decisions sometimes.

Ark

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Like just do things, stop freaking out.

Ark

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Ah...

Ark

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I... applied for an apartment.

I'm not going to get my hopes up, but lets see how this goes.

Ark

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Just popping in to say that I hope everything goes well with school.

The sheer thought of not getting accepted makes me sick to my stomach, and idk how much more I can pray about hopefully getting in. ;~;

Ark

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Like, I applied in November, interviewed for school in March, and have been waitlisted since April. The waiting game is kiiiilling me, and I can only hope that there will be a good outcome.

I want this so bad.

Ark

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I'm still burdened by the feeling of not being good enough, though. To read in my email that I've been waitlisted because my credentials don't compare to other candidates makes me feel less than.

It makes me constantly wonder "Why am I not good enough? What will make me good enough?"

Ark

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Everyday I'm burdened with the feeling that I'm not good enough due to constant rejection.

What is it about me that doesn't make me standout or compare to others?

Ark

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I don't know if I'll have it in me to reapply again if I get rejected. If so, at that point I'll have been rejected 3 times, and that's 3x the punch in the gut.

Personally I'm not willing or interested in traveling to different cities to apply to other schools. I'd rather stay local as I'm planning on settling where I am.

If I were to consider trying at a school in a different city, it would be one of the schools back at home. But even that is kind of pushing it because I don't want to move back home, heh.

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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The autumn semester starts at the end of August.

If I haven't heard anything back by now I can only assume I won't be getting accepted...

As each day goes by, the more discouraged I feel.

Ugh, I hate this...

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