Xanthan's posts

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@0v7: that is so very awesome. Congrats. I am happy for you and this huge blessing. Start scheduling appointments! LOL

This week i found myself being accepted into a PhD program I had wanted to get into. I got a new job. And I began playing video games again after many many many years lol

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@Colan: my ex used to play league. I loved his passion for it and wanted to try and get into it but he never really helped me start. Then the way he acted when he played just wasn't the most receptive. But my new bf has gotten me into League and Overwatch. I am finding some new magic in gaming and I haven't felt this way since....geez old school rpgs like FF3 american and chronotrigger came out lol

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@GodsandPunks: Yes! All too often "we" the collective, will get with someone we know may not be right for us, but they have so much potential. They spin a good yarn. They have dreams and so on. And all of those things are great things to have, don't get me wrong. The issue here is, not loving and liking, and accepting someone for who they are and where they are at. What if they don't get their big break and are an unemployed actor living from gig to gig with prospects slowly fluttering away? Are they still good enough, and everything you still wanted in someone when you thought they were the next idk Robin Williams, or Jodie Foster? Ya know? I see potential in everyone, but it is latent potential. Not many really care to do much about it. More people, of those I do know and talk to, haven't done anything but sit around and maybe look for jobs during this pandemic. Me, I am taking free courses, paid courses, school stuff, I am wanting to better myself and the more that I can get free or discounted, the more i do, because I am poor. I don't mind my struggle, but I am definitely going places. Hopefully I found someone strong enough to love me as is, where I am, and also strong enough to endure the ride. LOL
And yes, compromise is totally fine. Just make sure the relationship dynamic doesn't become too one sided for long periods of time. That is when it begins to get toxic and you become used etc. I have friends that may not have much money, but they have a large yard, so hey, how about I'll get x y and z for dinner, let's do it at your place so the kids can play in the yard etc. and you come up with somehting that works for the best of the group as a whole unit, not the individual. You got this darlin. I know ya do. If you would like help on learning how to reach out, be vulnerable without being a door mat, and living your best life, you got my name and number.....hit me up LOL

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@Cattafang: Welcome to Voltra. Glad you came and stopped by. I have wanted to join Dappervolk. I have heard good things about it. If you have any questions just holler. We are quite the friendly bunch and our forums stay quite active.

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@GodsandPunks: No you are 100% ok. Get it out. Share your story and perspective because chances are someone else out there needs to hear it and can relate. The place I make for anyone in my life is their own place for sure. Expectations lead to disappointments, and the worst thing you can ever do to yourself and another is love them and keep them around because of what they could be, should be, might be, etc. Meet people where they are at in life, don't hold them to your standards. I only ask that you be you and do your thing. That is what I like about all my friends, mobile and IRL. They are 100% themselves and they are beautiful for it.

Thank you for the Kudos. I have been super emotional since getting the news. I have had great support though from my bf and my son and all my friends. I just got my canvases back that were stretched and mounted for me. I am so stoked :)

Tonight's topic: have you listened twice as much as you've spoken today? After all, isn't that why we have 2 ears but only 1 mouth?

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@MoodyBats:
@vitreus:
@Totalanimefan:
@0v7:

Thank you all! I am truly excited and blessed for sure. This is just one more step in the direction i wish to go.

@xvz: thank you. Higher education is one means to an end. I want to help people be their best self and to live their best life. I feel like educational inequality is part of the problem. I also like working with communities and encouraging diversity. I am a strong believer that the world's problems are everyone's problems and so you need to ask yourself if you are being part of the problem or solution? I wish to be part of the solution. :)

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So, lately my life has been a bit unpredictable, and rough. I did my best. I practiced what I coach others to do. And well....I am currently dating a wonderful person. They get along with my kiddo swimmingly. I have painted my apartment even though I am still looking at buying a house. But today I got the best news in a long while, and I am still emotional and beside myself. I was accepted into a dual Master's and Ph.D. program for human and social services. I have decided to specialize or have an emphasis in Higher Education. I wasn't even supposed to hear back from them until maybe around Friday however they were impressed with my academic level and my submissions along with my admissions package. Now to find some funding to help me get through the next few year. This is a fast track program and so my goal is to be Dr. Xanthan come 2024!!!!!!!! Time to buckle down and show my kiddo that hardwork and helping others truly pays off!

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@GodsandPunks: "Yield when the tides of battle are not in your favor, but never submit. Never give up. " Very sage advice and sound words. And I didn't mean to come across passive. I do understand the despair and dark places that passivity can lead you to. Had I given up, or been passive, I wouldn't have the news I just shared. I would still be mourning lost family members, lost loves, unrequited loves, and I would be wallowing in selfpity. But I do know that i can bend and not break.
We just all want to make our place in this crazy world. Most often people want to be validated and have their voices heard. We long and yearn to belong, to be given a chance to be someone's someone. I am content and then some with my current standings in life, and with the people I have around me. I count you as a huge blessing. You and @DevilkinBoi: are both amazing people and I enjoy chatting with you day in and day out.

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@DevilkinBoi: So no jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese and deep fried? lol

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@kaichoukai: Hey there, and welcome back. I believe we talked briefly before. Glad to see ya around. Is Flight Rising the game where you raise dragons? I think I have heard of it but never played :( I have considered getting on dappervolk. I like the art and avi and pet style mixed with rpg. Have you played Dappervolk for very long? Any advice or tips for someone wanting to start out on it for the first time?

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@DevilkinBoi: Goodness, I hope you don't any issues with digesting sugars etc. LOL


@GodsandPunks: You got this darlin. I am not a fan of standardized testing either. I will take the GRE soon. I find out by Friday if I for sure am being allowed to pursue my dual Masters/PhD. I am nervous as all get out. Like my anxiety is running hella high but for so many different reasons and some are positive, ya know? It just seems things are finally progressing for me, and yet topsy turvy and outta control as well.

Which leads me to today's thought for the day. Recently my life coaching business has taken off, slowly but surely, and I have spent a lot of time listening to clients, and the issue of control comes up often. We all strive to control our lives, but the truth is, life happens, and it happens on its own terms. We can control how we act, and react, but not much else. We live with this illusion of being in control when in reality, there really isn't a man behind the curtain pulling strings. Being in control quite often requires us to be vulnerable and to submit. Then and only then are we able to see the illusion for what it truly is.

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And lastly, all too often, we live life and we begin to get tired or anxious. We begin to make small compromises which is wonderful at its core. Until those compromises turn into settling. We see someone, not for who they are, but for who they could be, for who they dream to be, but not always for whom they are willing to put forth the effort to become. We end up in a lopsided relationship. We give and give and we support and build the other person up and help them to color their dreams in bright yellows and oranges and sky blue too. We animate their world and bring to life their 2d pixelated black and white images with varying shades of gray. All the while, they aren't doing the word. And we realize we have learned to love and accept a life with a half lover.



This poem hits home every single time I read it. Because we all know that half a drink will not quench our thirst, so why do we allow half lovers and half friends the opportunity to stick around and quench the thirst in our heart and soul?

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@DevilkinBoi: You got it. Any syrups or garnish? :) I am a regular Barista Von Xanthan lol

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@ziplocbaby: any time! Enjoy :)

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@ziplocbaby: One beige and One Khaki base has been sent to you via trade. Just accept the offer and I will accept it once more and all will be well. I hope that helps. :)