Xanthan's posts

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I do a lot of research and learning on the power of vulnerability. When we open up to one another, we are exposing ourselves but we are also showing and sharing our humanity. When we do this with our friends or even our partners, we are actually strengthening those bonds of friendship and love. We are allowing our friends or partner to be part of our life. They are entering into our inner circle and then have the opportunity to listen, validate, and understand you (their friend or partner) on a deeper more meaningful level. So what have you done to let your walls down and open up so that your relationships can grow deeper and more meaningful?

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@Glume: I loved reading this. I agree that no expectations is very important. Too often expectations lead to disappointments. I go into things thinking, this is someone I am getting to know. They may be in my life for a reason or for a season or who knows, but let's find out. It is like uncovering a mystery for me. I am part of the scooby gang if you will.

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@Lucifera: For me, in the beginning, there shouldn't be a lot of like tell all talking. Keep some things to yourself. Keep things a mystery for a bit. But don't be aloof or cold. Make time for the person, but maintain respectful boundaries and time away. I think it is important to know what you will and will not accept. So maybe work your hard limits or deal breakers in a little at a time. There should be a lot of like 20 questions type things, and taking an interest in one another and one another's passions. That is what an ideal beginning looks like to me. Slow, steady, special, and surprising. The date should always leave you wanting more, hungry for more time, or for more talk, more answers to questions etc.

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Hello hello hello and welcome to Xanthan's Xenodochial Xanadu

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Love the new commons especially the war hawk. Time to go throw some volts into some shops. Great job everyone!

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@Kay: that is awesome. congrats. it is tough going without working. at least for me, i didn't know what to do really. i didn't want to get sick nor get my family sick. sadly bills come every month whether or not you're working :(

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@Shark: well happy birthday! I would sing to you, but you wouldn't want that lol Do you have any plans? dinner? skype or facetime with family or friends?

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@vitreus: I have plenty. Come on over. Pull up a chair.

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@xvz: way too often we deprive ourselves in order to "become better" "stay right" it just didn't make sense to me. So i reward myself for the big and the little victories.


@vitreus: Dinner is enchiladas :) i do love me some pizza rolls though. i wonder if i can have just a few while the enchiladas cook? hmm....i think i shall pop some in the air fryer just in case lol

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@actual murderer: sorry you cannot get into your old account but so glad you are here and back with us. how ya doing? how ya been?

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@vitreus: thank you for that. I did just eat, and i am glad you said something. i need to get dinner started lol. Routine is definitely a staple to keeping yourself at your best for the day. Feel free to reach out anytime you like. I am not always on here but I do respond as soon as possible. I am so happy to have you all here.

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@xvz: set a clear goal and remember, progress not perfection. it is ok to slip up from time to time. recognize it, reframe it, look at the end result, and get back on track but don't beat yourself up over it. and reward yourself for the effort not just the end goal. that is my advice when it comes to making any type of change and creating better habits. too often we say we will reward ourselves when we hit x milestone. well why not along the way as well? reward yourself for effort not just endpoints.

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@GodsandPunks: That sounds like so much fun. I wanted to do an ebook or comic or something for children. My ex was going to do the art part and i do the writing just to see where things lead. But alas it led to him no longer being with me and choosing to walk out. I am grateful for your comments. I also believe we need to be working towards better attitudes, positions, and positivity. I could talk for hours on end on psychology and how we are wired to pick out the negative and dwell on it vs look for the positive. I have many interests and hobbies but helping others to be their best self and to live their best life is truly what I feel my calling is.

I sent you a message and look forward to future chats.

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@vitreus: oh don't get me wrong, I do have stress, but i also do what i can to manage it. for instance, i know if i take my meds daily, it helps. but some days i don't feel like it. for me, feelings aren't facts, and so i do it anyways lol i sometimes wanna stay up all night and sleep all day, but i know it'll make me wonky so i begrudgingly head to bed at a more respectable hour lol. on a side note though, between work, and school, and the bind my ex put me in, i have a lot going but i can make it better or worse with my choices. i try my best to make it better. it is nice to be able to come on here, or reach out to friends as well and get help that way. :)