Amity's posts

I do love him and I miss him. And I think he feels the same way about me. We both miss the old version of each other and are having trouble with the new current version. It’s rough.

There was a time where my dad would have done the bare minimum to keep her alive and relatively happy; he’d care because I care. He showed some of that again when we moved in and she was getting treed and chased for the first time and he was really worried about her.

Oh this swee cats making bread on me. It’ll really suck if we have to rehome her. But that’s better than leaving her up here where the dogs will chase her and no one will care for her.

Had a gender crisis at work today which is one of the reasons I chose to leave early. Baby walked me through it. She’s so good and I’m so lucky to have her.

Like, so what’s the truth? The duality of man nonsense? Honestly I’m gonna be 30 and I don’t truly know what that means or where it came from

And now we’re back to our regularly scheduled Tom foolery. The man said something about dogs or hotdogs and then yelled about hating people and weirdos.

I try to keep last night in mind. Idk. The other night now I guess. Still my last night but his other night now.

I feel stupid but I guess I don’t need to. I’m okay. My family is okay for tonight. No one hates me, after all. No one who matters anyway.

Oh I guess I feel shame. Shame at being week and struggling to quit. But I want to. God I want to. I need to. I have to. Ahhhhh. God god god.

I’m glad he got a cry out last night. I know he’s needed it. I’m glad he can still be that way around me I guess

Getting some ice cream and gonna go look at the ocean. Then go shopping and head home. Not too horribly early. Talk to dad if he’s around and see how he’s doing.

I do wish things were different and I’m so sad. I’m so so sad.

And I’ll try to stay level headed and not let a single event completely shatter me and throw me off. A hard day but doing better now.

Things will be okay. I’ll keep working on my relationship with dad and see how it goes. I hope he can get things together and have a better rest of his life

Talked it out with bear and doing better. Kinda getting back on my regular shit. The situation still isn’t good. And I’m sad