Shadami's posts

@Wildfire: fair enough yeah xD
but it's felt like I've been going down or backward for way too long. it's nice to be moving forward even if its while struggling forward

I don't understand coffee.

So, continuing with trying to post positive things of why I've been gone. Since I've been with my soulmate, he's helped encrouage me not to give up on creative things I enjoy doing, and instead encourages me to keep going with them even if it ends up just being for him and I to see and enjoy.
So I went from a youtube video maybe once a year. to i've been getting one out almost every month. I've been having so much fun making them as well! I've really wanted to do them, even if its just for me to go ".... where did I leave off last time i played this game???" cause i have such huge breaks between being able to play a game and the next time I can play it. I always forget where i left off and then can't look back. But with these videos i can! Even if they're silly videos, it still gives me a better idea.

@Wildfire: yeah, it's been a lot. I'm pretty exhausted but still trying to plug forward.

Well. I was following someone on twitch who was the first person I followed. And we've been hanging out and chatting for probably 10 years. We were having a great time. And then a member of the community said and did some really nasty things. and I called them out. But... they were precious and flirty, and so they got the vote of confidence. and so... I left the community. with a lot of pain and hurt. And Instead of creating more drama, I just send the mods and stuff a goodbye because i'd been around making emotes for the channel and everything for a long time.

He was one of the mods. and somehow we had never actually spoken. so he was all "woah woah waoh. Why are you leaving?" and we got to talking. and then.. both of our worlds flipped over. Sadness and depression to "you're my soulmate and i've been looking for you my whole life . where have you been. a piece of me that has been missing is finally here. I love you" and we haven't missed a single day talking to each other. We've been together as instant best friends since Jan 10th, 2021. And years and years and years of abuse, physical and emotional from even when I was younger are finally being addressed and he's helping me to heal. And it's been absolutely amazing. I didn't believe in true love or soul mate until I met him. I thought it was just a story, a fantasy.

But healing means that there's been a lot of pain to deal with. But with him I've been able to actually face it all. slowly... step by step. but its a lot of open wounds instead of burying it further. and its exhausting. but so wonderful.

and he's just.. so... so.. perfect. *dreamy sigh* :viohearteyes:

@Wildfire: There's been a bunch of stuff going on. The basic summary is. Getting a divorce. Found a soulmate. my baby is about to turn 3. School. Single mom life.

A

Is for not a bad idea. XD

V

I should see if new npcs appeared while I've been gone

Some positive reasons I haven't been around

I started playing star trek online
I met my soulmate
I'm getting a divorce from an abusive relationship of 10 years that I was incredibly unhappy in.
Been playing deep rock galactic
I'm working on my YouTube
I'm working on getting a coloring book published

@Anarchist Beauty: thanks Ana. I'm trying to do my best to shake the stress and anxiety and get through the healing process

I'm going to hopefully be bringing this back. I'm way behind on getting items at this point, and I would like to keep brushing up my drawing skills.

awww look at the cute little sugar

Dyson Sphere - Undine Atmosphere

i just panicked and had to double check that this was actually in the undercurrent.