Jolly's posts

I can see where it was complicated or confusing to navigate.

But man did it have a certain vibe that I liked

Oh gosh, I havent been on there in a hot minute! I really liked Pantheon ;;
Super enjoyed this character I crafted on there. The mature look of the avatars was really fun!


Sad to see such a lovely site go :(
Even though I wasn't active enough to contribute for a long while.

Yes! I'm quite happy, but still keep myself ready in case anything declines. I dont know entirely how brain trauma might affect him in the long term.

I actually had a call yesterday where dad turned on the face camera and was holding the phone himself (until it ached cause he does have a fractured wrist on one hand, fractured metacarpals on the other). They had gotten him off of the opioids a week ago cause he was starting to get hooked, so now he's on some heavy Tylenol and such. But that means his brain isn't being slowed by the dilaudid so he is fully aware and himself. He forgets a little bit about what we talked about in the previous phone calls, so each time he tells me where his head space is and how his injuries are, how he's improving. Got this tube taken out, might get that tube taken out. He did have another surgery for his pelvic bone since it was coming loose already? Probably from him being so swollen at the time and now the swelling is down, so they put longer screws in. Got that patched up.

I'm glad that his headspace is good though. He wants to make a firm note with everyone that he doesn't feel messed up by this and it is what it is. He doesn't hate the person who hit him, cause realistically he doesn't think she just woke up that day and said "lets go kill somebody". He only concerns himself with whether they'll be financially compensated, which is something my mom and their attorney is still working on.

I learned it was a head on collision. I didn't want to know about the accident at all, but dad starts rambling when he talks and I think the meds or the brain trauma have caused him to lose all filter :vanora_xd: So he goes on tangents. He doesn't remember the accident still, but he recalls the information others have told him. No one knows 100% what happened, just that the evidence shows that the woman driving must have not been paying attention and pulled out in front of dad while he was going probably 55 (the road's speed limit, he's not usually a speeder). A fire fighter did something specific that I don't want to know the details of, but its thanks to that person that dad's alive at all. My family is sorting out a gift basket to thank them (but having a friend bring it to him cause GOD thats too heavy for us to face ourselves)

Knowing more details on the accident messes with my head a bit, but I'll get over it.
Just the "try not to think about it" cause my mind and imagination work against me.

Oh and sorry if I repeat things, I talk about this all a lot with my managers as they check in on me each day
so I forgot what I say to whom :']
blessed with a good support system these days when it comes to this kinda thing

@Anarchist Beauty:
Thing is, even with a helmet, your odds of surviving a motorcycle wreck is still slim. My dad had full protection on and still ended up with brain damage. Had he not worn his helmet he probably would've straight up died of course. But like even with the most protection... its still not worth driving motorcycles for such a risk. Why we dont have specific motorbike zones in the USA for how massive our land is, i do not know! :vanora_stunned: well money obv, but yeah..


@Totalanimefan:
He will be getting the help he needs thankfully <3
I was able to talk to them all on the phone a few times (they couldnt facetime, I think mom doesn't wanna admit she doesnt know how to use it lmao)
and Ive been texting with my mom frequently to just keep her mind from sitting too still. I'll feed her optimistic thoughts in a realistic manner and try to justify her concerns. I find that a healthy mix of religion and science works really well for her and it just kind of reassures her that he'll be alright.


In great news, my dad was moved out of the trauma ward earlier last week! His swelling has reduced a lot, but that also means he feels everything more. They've had him on meds that help with his brain and pain. But one sounds like it may have been triggering his BPD or something, making him really angry grumpy. So they cut that out, but then he had some signs of getting hooked on the opioids. So thats one of the current focuses to nip that before it becomes a nasty addiction. The doctors are taking care of it right away thankfully! He's just gonna have to be a lil grumpy while his system adjusts.

physical therapy is going well. He's been improving more each day, little by little.
He's able to eat solid food as of yesterday. Had his feeding tube removed.


And at last... I have a week off from work to digest!
I was surprised that my regional manager expressed frustration when I said I cant FMLA and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to see my dad (as a traveler, cause covid and such). While I agree I wouldn't want dad to be at risk from anything I'd carry in, its frustrating to not even help behind the scenes (aside from wiring money to feed mom). But I felt like my management would absolutely have my back if I could... so that feels nice!

@Totalanimefan:
Yeah I'm super relieved, and that he's getting better faster than the doctor's would've thought.
It sucks that he's starting to feel everything now, and his head trauma is still a thing, sometimes he can't understand why he's suffering. He's mostly cognitive and aware, but it sounds like he still has moments of confusion.

I've been upset cause I can't call FMLA and go help my mom, she's been fighting through all this and hardly eating :vanora_sad:
Be nice if I could help her maintain her home while she's at the hospital with dad. Get her cold waters, sandwiches or something.
stupid rules
stupid covid
stupid texas
bahh

Dad just got moved from the trauma center yesterday and is going to the next stage. Dunno how hospitals work or what exactly the next stage means, but all I know is that he's getting better. His mind was returning over the last few days and the day before yesterday I was able to talk to him on the phone. My mom had to hold the phone up on speaker phone for him, since he still has his hands all wrapped up (so he doesn't pull on tubes while he's asleep). It felt like my dad talking to me, so even despite the brain trauma, he hasn't been lost. I got him laughing a bit harder than I intended and then he fell asleep lol
He was sleeping a ton, couldnt stay awake very long. Given how quickly we were seeing improvements on his healing, I think that was a good thing.

They were back and forth on whether he would need surgery on a stomach blockage, but at the last moment, it seemed like that cleared a bit too. Still watching it but he's improving every day.

Today he's fully awake, my sister said, which means he's starting to feel everything. It'll be really rough while he's consciously aware of his pain. But I hope he continues to improve as quickly as he has so far, and that the doctors can help lessen his suffering as much as possible without stunting his healing process. I know that they're starting some physical therapy for him. And we're hoping that he may get the tubes removed tonight for his stomach.

Mom has started eating a little bit more, I think she's finding a little relief.
My sister started to lose it a little a few days ago, but she seems like she's pulling back together.
Dad's trying to get me to smuggle him a mnt dew (I wont lol)
I feel like I was doing fine for most of this, but today its hitting me again and I'm a bit unstable. But everything is getting better~

I just dealt with a UTI recently... twice. I had a full blown case of it, got meds pretty easy on an online source (angels, that team) and worked through it.
Was fine thru a menstrual cycle thinking I was in the clear.
then a week later I got UTI again.
Used extra meds and I'm good now, but man I dont recommend it!!

Found that it was most likely caused by a serious sweat buildup. I've been dealing with the texas heatwave and the ac in my job is broken, so I spend 11 hours of my day sweating inside a giant metal box that sits 88-90 degrees F. Under LED lamps that cant be turned off.

Thankfully no delirium symptoms
I get those from the heat exhaustion

May get a portable bidet for work after this experience~!

I have this list of referral or recommendations from my doctor from months ago, when I did that simple little survey that was like "yea you depressed af"
They're all normal, expensive things.
One had a free chat source for quick counseling. It was... not helpful. She tried her best but sounded too robotic and inauthentic.
She did try to recommend I text some 2-1-1 number that would provide affordable or free resources, but its "service is not available"
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

as always I give up

@Totalanimefan:
Yeah, I think that I would be able to adapt. But I'm the one who is across the country so there's not much I can help with. Trying not to think about if he'll never remember me because I'm not even there to jog his memories.
I worry so much about my mom during this, too. She's not ok, but she's there with him every minute of it.

I dont know how to afford therapy. I guess its hard to decide "yeah I'll drop $400 a month to talk to someone" and then I bought a car instead, which cost less than any form of mental help.
sigh
I've been needing it for such a long ass time, my insanity is so chronic by now I'm probably beyond help from a simple chat. I'm half a step away from considering medication with how much recent events have been really messing my head up

@Totalanimefan:
yeah, thats going to be difficult to get through. But I just hope that he can become happy again. He struggles a lot with his bipolar, I hate if he'd just suffer for the rest of his life from this.
My sister is pretty messed up cause he couldn't recognize her, so there is also a big fear of his memories not returning. I know thats possible with brain bleed.

I can't express how glad I am my cousin pulled through. That was messing me up a few weeks ago

@Totalanimefan:
I hope so too
but with a head injury that bad, I dont know if he'll be the same.

someone told my cousin about it, who is still healing from his motorbike accident too.
he texted to check on me and I just about lost it.
He was cognitive almost immediately in the hospital, and I remember that brought me so much relief, cause that alone is such a good sign when someone is so critically injured. We almost lost him, but once he was conscious enough to try talking (against the nurse's wishes, cause he'd strain himself) we knew he was going to pull through.
And now, weeks later, he's able to hold conversations like normal, although he's still confined to a hospital bed for now.

My dad's not cognitive and they're still determining his internal condition
so there's no relief yet

In truth dad's not okay
my sister has not been able to grasp the details because she's in shock, she isn't ok.
But he has a severe concussion, brain bleeding
I'm most worried for that
I dont know how to cope with these things today

Well he's gone through his surgeries today.
Has a metal rod in his leg replacing the tibia, and metal screws in his pelvic (hips) bones to stabilize that.

My sister was telling me how drugged up he is in the hospital this morning when she had dropped mom off to see him.
Normally when you're loopy on pain meds, I imagined you'd be more.. derpy and sluggish. My dad's bipolar though so maybe that's why its triggered anger in him, so he's been throwing tantrums.

I wish I could run up there to sit with them.
my mom sounds pretty upset on the phone, I think this is doing a big number on her
:vanora_sad: