Jolly's posts

(Update: You all are wonderful as always <3 I've had a week of feeling better, so here's to trying new routines)

Therapy is seemingly forever out of my reach, no matter how hard I work for it. Even the "cheapest" of options is still just too much for my wallet to handle. But I didn't wanna pop on here to complain about mental health system.

I'm real bad at routines and healthy habits, but I still wanted to ask anyways. Like maybe there's something simple, like a phone app or a book, or a specific kind of journal (not the diary kinds) that have helped you or seem helpful in working on inner peace?

I know I need to learn how to let things go, I feel that so many things have piled and stacked on my shoulders that its always as if I have a mountain on my back. Its almost like a curse.
Unloading by talking about my problems seems the opposite of helpful, so for this maybe therapy isn't exactly what I want. Heck, maybe I just need a job that I'm not gone 12 hours a day. But thats a distant goal :vanora_sweat: And frankly, as much as I blame my stress on working too much, I don't think that's actually the main factor to my mental health. I think its a variety of things, and a lot of it is just internal.

Or maybe I'm wrong and work really is breaking me down too much? I don't have much choice with that, anyways. Not a good time to bounce careers. So I ought to balance my brain so I can endure these things.

Definitely one factor is my diet, which is probably another thing I need to work on with all my strength. I have always had a really bad food aversion issue. I love love veggies, can't get enough of them. Noodles, pasta, rice are all so easy for me to eat even when I'm having a really bad aversion day. But as my overall mental health shrinks, my desire to eat also does. It gets difficult. I can hardly stomach meat anymore, with all the fatty gritty chewy textures it gets. I always hated seafood but I want so badly to like it, cause that could eliminate a lot of the texture issue ;; and its good for mind and body. Its also lean.

I'm rambling a bit though!
Share with me any ideas you may have for self help practices?
I may be gone at work 12 hours a day but sometimes I can bring things to my job if its portable enough. I actually need to practice doing more things for myself on my downtime at work, cause some of where my physical health keeps slipping is cause I usually care for that at home. But at work I dont, I just sit and play Mystic Mansion all day. ineedtostop. ;v;'''

hooo boy, I am sorry at how slow I"m being~!
I had to trade shifts with a girl at work so I had a 8 day work week! I'll be able to work on the last order sooooon :D

Sooooo the game had an update the other day that released some new features, such as becoming an outlaw and all that.
Shiny ships too.
Since this update, and idk what triggers it exactly, but I discovered by accident that if I have an item in my ship's cargo that I go to sell it wont remove it from my inventory. So like, I have infinite of this item. I may have gotten too excited and spam clicked it to a point where I probably screwed up the economy system for a specific item, dropping the demand for it significantly >>
But it also seems to work when selling to traders! AND for nanites too!

My partner's game crashed so he didn't keep the units he spammed for lol
But he did get one of the new shiny ships out of it
and I'm rolling in units and nanites, searching for the best freight ship I can find

Any of you play?
I JUST got back into it and I feel like such a noob again. Its so different now from what it was a few years ago lol

On the downside of this game, my new PC is W11 and I get a lot of crashes compared to my partner who is on my old W10 PC. I pretty much cant do any of the Nexus quests (at least not in multiplayer, I havent yet tried for single player yet). Even outside of Nexus and the Anomaly, I still crash occasionally and earlier got a good ol BSOD. Which I read is likely caused by Directx/W11 bein dramatic

I think I'm a day late but happy birthdayyyyy!!

Every night, I come home from work to find it missing


Its the only cable she messes with! She doesn't want to chew on it. Although she'll grab it with her teeth, she just wants to play with it and pull it off the desk. Once it hits the floor she leaves it alone!
I'll get bitter spray so she doesn't damage it but it cracks me up lol

(blurry photo cause I took this at night, was dim in the room)

This makes me happy to read. Trips are fun but there's a special excitement about returning home to family and home life. Glad you're having a good time!

@Spider:
Thank you for the trade! :D
Here you go

@Bonnie:
Ah thats right! I tried looking into betterhelp in the past, but it was still quoting me a chunky price per visit.
I might give it a try once I pay off my car though. Assuming the economy doesn't entirely implode and I lose my wage xd

@MoodyB:
Oh dude, I've learned that doctors are like the most non-empathetic humans ever lol
Maybe they need to be for that kind of job. But still!

I hope things are going better for you now. Money really is such a huge source for stress :vanora_cry:

@koneko:
Yeah, I thought it was interesting that they did a screening. Pretty sure I've googled the same survey before XD But its on an official document that I could use if ever I find an affordable help!

But yeah, you're right. Its such a hard thing to attain help. I'm finding that it isn't just mental health help, even physical help is near impossible for me to find in this town! Maybe one day, indeed ;;

@MaxIsConfused:
Oh man, thats a lot!
I'm real interested in naturopathic methods (within reason), so I avoid medication for my mental health until I explore other avenues first.
Not that any of this is covered/affordable for me right now anyway XD
For now I stick to placebo effects! Like, feeling sad? This soda will make it all go away.

@koneko:
Yeah, I had no idea they would do a generalized screening for mental health. Must be a texas thing. To waggle it in front of me like a carrot, but in reality I still cant afford it lmfao
They do make it sound more extreme than it probably is though. I function!

@Bonnie:
Ohhh thats cool that they can match you with someone like that! That's extra exciting~
I always figured it was pretty randomized. But you said this was an online service? Its also neat that thats becoming more of a thing, because I cant IMAGINE sitting face to face with a stranger like "hi uh... ptsd's a bitch, right?"

@Totalanimefan:
I tried calling but I can expect a response "in the next couple of days"
In my time dealing with Drs, its hit or miss if they call me back at all.

But then I remembered the website Simplehealth. Did some research, evaluated the pros and cons and really it sounds legit.
I already got approved for birth control on there. $15 per year, $0-7 for the pills (dependent on my insurance deciding to cover it or not) and I get a 3-month dose at a time.
Now to research the pills that they're prescribing, before I approve the order :vanora_xd:

@Bonnie:
I hope it goes well <3

@Totalanimefan:
Yeah theres a lot going on rn so a lot of it is just environmental stress. My implant also still messing my hormones up too.

It just dawned on me that I waited about a month for this consult/care establishment "phone visit" so I can get bc pills ordered
but they never prescribed any. They got me so distracted, they only scheduled the removal of my implant and now I cant reach them again cause theyre already in another appt :vanora_stunned: UGH

PHQ-9 at a 21
GAD-7 at a good ol 15
:vanora_xd:
aka possible "severe" anxiety issues, nonspecific and not a formal diagnosis

Dr is like uhhh you want meds?
and I'm like no dude I want mental health care to not cost more than my car payments so I can get behavioral therapy
:vanora_upsidedown:

That subject always makes me spicy. Its hilarious how every time I see a doctor and they do these little survey things to check my general state of mind, they always get all nervous and worried like "you need help!" and I'm like YEAH WE ALL DO but cant have that can we
I dont qualify for financial help on this


I just come here to whine and joke.
disclaimer: I'm doing fine XD

Kinda lazy with this one, I didn't bother even shading the bg before blurring it
But hey, I drew something XD

after playing a bunch of Raft with my partner
we had the fun idea of what if our wols were in this situation

This is just one of many doodle ideas following our habits in the game. Zad keeps getting knocked out by wild animals, Rathiel has to scoop him up and run him back to the boat before the animals get him too

I did not want to draw the animals so that part stays in brain :' )