Jolly's posts

@elizabeth:
I find it very fun so far. Although, the school is not xD very drama heavy.
Where I live that seems to be common in the business so I want to keep that in mind when I get licensed. Set up an atmosphere with positive energy that can help tone down all of that crazy-ness.

@totalanimefan:
Yess! Hope you get a day off soon! I am constantly yearning for staying home and doing nothing xd

@priestess of pie:
YES all of that lol If I try working without music I get insanely tense or cant focus at all. I have to select my tunes just right and even then I might still need some caffeine to boost me into action.

@erebus:
dude same, I'm still being lazy lmao
and I havent made any of my threads look nice, even when i say I should

@totalanimefan:
Oh! Thats good! Do you know if theres a reason behind the needle phobia? Or has it always been?

@totalanimefan:
Yeah Ill probably take about that long too. But I wont rush into it. I think what helps a lot sometimes is sitting as a passenger but imagining "Could I handle this?" while someone else is driving. For the longest time I'd be like NOPENOPENOPE cannot! But now I feel a little more at ease? most days. not all xD
super proud about it though

Parking lot practice never helped my anxiety at all. I wasn't scared of making a vehicle move and the lots helped in learning how to function that. But my fears come in when there are others on the road too. What are they going to do, how can I react timely and safely, and I have a hard time sensing how far something is from me also. Everything feels closer than it is, in my perspective.

So my practice had to be in neighborhoods where a car will occasionally pop up. I used to have full blown break-slamming panic when a car would turn the corner lol so it took a while, but eventually I got over little by little. I'm still not on highways yet, still baby walking my way there.

@koneko:
cities dont always make it easier. Depends on the specific layouts and everything. In the south I didnt feel a need for driving. Even if it didnt scare me to drive, I would've walked to work anyways cause it was more convenient. xD
but the cities where I live now are more difficult. more spread out

@koneko:
Yeah that was me for a long time. It wasn't without trying, and in some cases financially I couldn't afford a vehicle/insurance. But mostly too scared to drive.
In my case, I just needed someone to play the role of a long-term instructor that has the patience and understanding to deal with me in practice.
Cant afford therapists or real instructors (also I tried one that my mom paid for and I had the worst experience). But my bf was super helpful, otherwise I wouldn't be driving now.

But yeah... you can't thrive in the US without driving. D:
I've missed out on a lot of things by not being able to fight the fear.

@elizabeth:
Oh, I have a lot of respect for psychology. It intrigues me a lot. I'm in for massage therapy so we touch on similar subjects a bit, but not very in depth.

Thanks! I think I've never written a research report so this should be interesting haha

@priestess of pie:
Yeah pretty much xD
I do the same thing too normally. But when it comes to my college work, I know I'll suffer so much more if I push anything off. I have to keep a certain balance so my mind doesn't explode (I need a routine, I have adhd lmao). But these things aren't due soon enough to be detrimental if I don't do them today.

@elizabeth:
What did you study? I'm sure they were probably more tough, since mine is only a year's worth haha going for a license rather than a degree.

Candy tastes so much better when work isn't being done. But I'll probably do one of these things before the night ends..

I usually just put on my favorite clothing for the time being and make sure my hair isn't a mess.
Now that we've been together a while, and live together, it actually becomes more fun since we're getting ready at the same time together.
Like "Ohh I'm gonna wear this new shirt cause its cute!" and he'd be like "I LIKE THAT, I'm gonna wear my orange plaid cause its your favorite color"

Ohoh, and we both bought cool jackets together from our first travel trip, so we also wear those every time we go on proper dates. Even if its too hot lol

Which is a midterm test and starting on a research report about hemangioma.
I also meant to do a massage at the school today for practicum hours.
But then today just seemed like the perfect day to accidentally stumble upon my sister's front door, and into her husky's fur for a few hours. Then walmart also sounded so much better than homework.

Now, I munch on my new candy and jumex juice and read the internet.

> What are you procrastinating on today? :vanora_xd:

@Koneko:
Right, its so hard to deal with sometimes. I have a few BIG fears relating to driving. Several, really, I could make a list. And I could check off a few of them that I've already experienced. Which doubles my fear in that I know everything is possible to happen even if I'm careful.
So I also take extra care when I'm about to drive to really listen to my own intuition and even my mood. If I'm too off, I wont focus as well, or might be more likely to panic and pull over or become unsafe. Sometimes I get a nagging feeling I shouldn't drive, or sometimes my bf will feel it and stop me.

Aaaaahhh I cant wait to be done with college! I miss playing on sites like this one ;;
I wanna do so many things

Thats an amazing story xd

I was just watching a vsauce video on youtube about fears and it was pretty interesting. I recommend.

anyway, my biggest fear is driving/being in a car. Its such a high necessity so I HAVE to push myself past it, but it has still taken me nearly 10 years to work on. I didn't see myself driving until last year, but even now I can barely handle it. if the slightest thing jumps me, or if something obscures my vision even a little (ie window fog) I can go into a full hyperventilating panic attack and its not safe at all lol I once blacked out cause of a rain storm panicking me and got hit back in 2013 or 14. That has improved in me a little, thanks to some help I've received.

Also driving at night, while usually doesn't bother me when its late enough that there's barely anyone out, but if there are enough vehicles I cannot drive. Everyone drives with their brights on here and it severely screws with my vision, so I cant see in front of me. Like I'm sorry, its a mostly lit city, you dont need those on xD But yeah, now that association makes me even more terrified in a car at night, I cant handle it even if I'm not driving/not blind

@miss sandman:
Seems like it! Its cool you ended up getting so many orbs <3 haha